Man who attempts to kill children gets 100 years in prison

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . May 27, 2009 . 10:27AM

Rarely do I take my blog in a serious direction, but after reading this story, my blood is throbbing.

William Cunningham is a man who, in a disgusting attempt to gain funds from Campbell’s soup, put lighter fluid in his children’s soup and almost killed them.

It is difficult to work in any kind of helping profession and not become an advocate for children. It’s next to impossible for a parent, working in that profession, to not get herself in massive amounts of trouble when it comes to things like this because her fury overwhelms her.

When I read this story, I was reminded of the anger and upset I felt when I heard about the Susan Smith and Andrea Yates cases. In this particular case, I don’t know whether or not he intended to kill his children, but the fact that he was using their lives as pawns in a sick money scheme for his own benefit has never been in question.

The other night, Leon was out of town and AJ was sleeping. Those moments when I can observe him like the possessive mother that I am are rare and precious because he rarely allows me to just WATCH him. He will make silly faces, or fill the silence with his boyish chatter. When he sleeps, I become aware of how vulnerable he is and how, even though he’s a tall child, he’s small inside with a big heart.

I continue to try to understand how someone can look at their child and see dollar signs. What compels that kind of behavior? I can look at it and diagnose it and think about it rationally and logically, but I want to understand the emotion that is behind that kind of behavior.

I spend many nights carefully considering the best decisions for my child in the long run. What happened within this parent that he didn’t? How quick was his snap to this level?

It doesn’t matter if I ever understand why someone can do this, and truthfully, I don’t know if that knowledge would soothe me or disturb me. The one thing I do know and recognize is that by seeing these cases 2 things are perfectly clear:
1/There are many parents out there that are doing the absolute best they can without harming their children in any way &
2/the only thing I can do in this situation is change my awareness levels and work to help others with their own.

The things they carried: an exploration of a woman’s purse

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . May 26, 2009 . 12:56PM

Ever since I was an undergrad and read the story The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, I’ve been fascinated by the things people carry with them and the reasons why they carry those items. I spend some of my free time looking at the “What’s in your bag?” Flickr feed and perusing at InStyle to see what is going on in their bag. In fact, if you google the search term “What’s in your bag?” you can find all kinds of interesting goodies. So, in honor of that fascination, I’m going to allow you a small glimpse into the things I carry and you can feel free to analyze those items however you choose.

EDIT: After I wrote this post, I realized that I forgot to add my phone to the mix. It’s a beautiful Blackberry Pink Pearl 8130. You may notice all of these items are lying on the magical blanket.

First, we have my purse and it’s basic contents(counterclockwise):  My black purse, which was a gift from my husband for Mother’s Day this year.

My black organizer, which you already know that I have a somewhat abnormal obsession with and refuse to lose.

My black pill case which holds a mini pharmacy for any unexpected need.  It has bailed me out for many unexpected headaches.

My debit caddy is wonderful!  It’s so much lighter than a checkbook and I really only use my debit cards.  It’s big enough to carry a little bit of cash and a couple of checks, too, “just in case.”

My Plantronics 320 bluetooth earpiece, which is the best fitting earpiece I’ve ever found, and yet, has been discontinued. 

My keys on their lovely keychain, along with a blue Bic stick pen.

My Sephora lip attitude glamour lipstick in 09 Mauve Emotion.  I have been looking for a moisturizing lipstick that goes on like a gloss for a while.  I’m happy about how reasonably priced this stuff is.

My ebags mini bag and my card holder, which actually holds my flash drives.

Here comes the fun part: What’s REALLY inside?

In the red case, I carry: MAC Studiofix powder, Wisp mini toothbrushes, Stila lipgloss, Clinique lip balm, Neutrogena sunscreen, Aveeno moisturizer, Eucerin lotion, dental floss, tweezers, hand sanitizing wipes, my smashbox mirror, sunglasses to put over my glasses, Annik Goutal perfume vial, hair ties, Orbitz spearmint gum, a heart calculator and some mints. Yep. Everything on that left hand side FITS. Barely. OH! As do the mints in the blue container and my little necessities kit that I ordered from mytagalongs.

The rest has all been described.

Now, the gauntlet has been handed. What’s in YOUR bag? It doesn’t have to be a purse. What’s in your gym bag, your bookbag, your briefcase, your lunch pail? Write your own post or comment here!

Eventually I’ll hit each of those here. What’s stopping you?

The results of the new color debacle

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . May 26, 2009 . 8:42AM

After carefully considering all of your feelings and votes on this post, I chose to go for the color on #3/#4. I’m not sure if you realized that they were the same color, just different styles? Regardless, I decided to keep my hair longer, but still take some length off and have my stylist work my layers so that I would still get that #3 mentality, with the length of #4.

Unfortunately, my hair is such a dark ash brown, that light blonde isn’t possible without, essentially, beating the soup out of otherwise fantastically healthy hair. I love my hair. I don’t want to beat it into submission. So, what we agreed upon, is that I would do some beautiful caramel colored highlights and continue building them into my pre-existing brown until it lightened up. This will happen over the course of the next several months.

Chris, my stylist, also gave me a nice level light brown base to start things off. I adore my stylist. He’s wonderful in every way and I enjoy spending time talking with him. He’s just a genuinely nice person and those are hard to come by nowadays. And he’s magic with color.

So, because I don’t want to bore those who don’t care, the results look like this picture. The picture isn’t great because my family is in town and, in my zealousness to take a picture of me and my wonderful sister, I dropped my beloved camera. Now my coloring is completely off, but I’ve color corrected as much as is possible. Yes, I really am this pale. More so, as the color actually gives me some jaundice yellow, when, in actuality, I’m white as a ghost. The picture’s bad, the color is great. Chris scores again!

Thanks again for all your help on this. I know my limitations and creativity is one of them.

Helping Children say goodbye

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . May 25, 2009 . 3:06PM

On Wednesday, I picked up a subdued AJ from school and prepared to bring him home. I expected him to be jubilant as he’d spent all day on a field trip and it was his last full day of school for for 3 months! As a child, I remembered the last week of school as being an exciting time full of joy and the thrill of the upcoming summer. When I asked AJ if he was excited about his last day of school being Thursday, though, I watched his lip wobble and he looked at his feet. Sometimes I forget that he’s still a little guy because he’s so tall.

“Yes. No. I don’t know, maybe.”

Color me confused because this is not the reaction I would have if I was in my last week of school. Most of his classmates cannot wait to get out of school. Earlier in the week, he’d asked me if he could get his teacher, Mrs. C, a card and I’d said yes. After Leon came home from work, we headed to Target, to get some necessities, some non-necessities and the card for Mrs. C.

Immediately, after arriving at home from the store, AJ began digging in the sack for his card for Mrs. C. I asked him to write her a short note and then sign it. When he showed it to me, I immediately saw why he was so sad to be leaving school.

Thank you for all you did for us this year. Your the best teacher. In the world. don’t leave But say goodby .

(all spelling errors, punctuation and smilies are AJ’s)

He asked me to not take a picture of his writing, but even the writing looked sad on the card. He looked at me and whispered that he “didn’t want to leave Mrs. C” and that he would “miss her so much.”

I’ve mentioned before that this particular teacher made a huge impact on my child. The knowledge that he has is that he will either have a teacher that understands him and his learning style or he won’t. I think there is quite a bit of fear that he will have a teacher that doesn’t and that he will be in the same position he occupied in K-1, where the teachers often misunderstood him.

As a mom, it’s time for me to step in and remind him that he was lucky to have this teacher while he did and that she was precious. However, we’ve learned that he is capable of putting forth a great effort and making some amazing changes in himself that serve him well no matter who he has as a teacher. He will still be in the same school and this teacher will be loving and supportive of him regardless of whether or not he is in her classroom. We will say goodbye gently and lovingly and remember what she has taught him about himself and life and tackling challenges that seem insurmountable. I cannot thank her enough for teaching him something that I could not teach him at the time.

It truly takes a community to raise a child. I’m thankful for the one in which I live. They are wonderful people.

Memorial Day

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . May 25, 2009 . 10:37AM

In Honor of those that have given their lives, the families that have given their loved ones and those that have served and continue to serve.