Women are stupid
Women, we do stupid things for beauty. You’ve probably gathered that women and beauty and womanhood are something of a theme for the last couple of days, but this is the end of the road for it, at least for a while. I know that I do something stupid for my looks at least weekly.
One example? My eyebrows.
I was born of a yeti. Mom, I’m not calling you a yeti, I swear. Please don’t take back my Christmas presents. I’m just saying you adopted me from a yeti because I have a unibrow that makes grown men cry. It’s true. If I neglect this baby, I make muppets look like they wax. So, I have 2 options: waxing or plucking. Neither of them are appealing. I’m not going the electrolysis route. I’m just not. Yes, I’ve heard of threading. I don’t want to scream at the person who is doing my brows, so I’m going to pass.
Let’s talk about some of my eyebrow experiences.
How about the one time the woman almost pulled my face off.
Yes, it actually happened. My friend Kristin was there. This took place around 2002 and it was around the 2nd or 3rd time I’d had my brows waxed. The wax was bubbling. This is not a good sign. This is not how wax is supposed to be when you are going to put it on your face. The woman who was to do my brows was busy cutting hair, so another stylist said she would do it.
This is never a good sign.
Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 and never, ever let someone pinch hit on your brows.
When the wax went on I could feel my skin bubble and tears welled in my eyes. It was then that I knew I was in trouble. She tugged and I could feel the blood. I was young and didn’t realize that I SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING. ALWAYS SAY SOMETHING. She then WENT OVER THE SAME SPOT AGAIN. I left with burns.
For beauty. Oh, I left looking like something, that’s for sure.
Let’s go to this earlier this year.
I was getting my brows done again. Look, I told you, if they aren’t done I’m a yeti. The woman was clearly not concentrating and the wax was thin and runny. It ran down my brow and into my eyeball.
Women are stupid for beauty. All I can say is that I hope men and other women appreciate it.