Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . February 28, 2011 . 6:30PM

There are times that my son, AJ, makes comments and, instead of using it as a teachable moment, which is what I SHOULD do, I let the moment go by quietly. Let’s be real here, ok? I let the moment go by while I pretend to be as quiet as I can so it might think I’m dead and allow me to not address it.

Sometimes adults don’t want to be adults and sometimes they don’t want to teach the teachable moments simply because they can be, well, rather exhausting. There comes a moment when the sweet little baby turns into a question machine and it is “Why?” all the time. I thrive on critical thinking, but this isn’t it. This is critical asking and critical response to my answers and when I say critical response I mean it’s often answered with, “Well that’s a stupid reason for something being that way” to which I have no clever response because it often IS a stupid reason for something being that way but I’m put off enough not to agree because I just took the time to explain WHY something is the way it is.

Just typing that caused me to wrinkle my nose and for my head to throb slightly.

So, you can see why there might be times that, when something is and explaining it is going to be a drawn out process, adults might play dead or hide. Or…in some crafty cases, play dumb. You know who you are, oh cleverest of us all. You pretend you don’t know when, in reality, you do know you just keep your mouth shut because you’re smarter than the rest of us. You clever beasties, you.

This brings me to today’s geography homework. Oh woe to me with geography homework. Latitudes and longitudes and meridians, oh my! I don’t know any of this. More correctly, I learned it well enough to take a test in the 4th grade and promptly forgot it to add such things such as America’s Funniest Home Video’s and Full House to my brain.

Today’s homework went like this:

AJ: “What is this?” (he points to Africa)
Me: “That’s Africa.”
AJ: “No, that’s south america.”
Me: (pointing to each) “NO, There’s america, there’s south america, there’s africa.”
AJ: “Why is south america there?”
Me: … (very quietly ignoring it and almost humming and rocking)

See? I could have explained the theory about how everything was joined and the plates moved or any of the various geographical theories, right? Instead, I was vewwy, vewwy quiet. I even looked the other direction intently, as if I had something that must be accomplished right at the front door. AJ, thankfully, ignored me right back and formed his own idea of why South America is south of North America. When I saw he went back to his homework, I let out a loud sigh and went back to what I was doing.

I was clever today. I lost the teachable moment, but saved a lot in sanity. I’m going to give myself this one.

Book Review: The Selfish Giant

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . February 27, 2011 . 7:52PM

It’s always interesting to me when someone can take a classic and remake it to the point where current generations can find beauty within it. Honestly, it’s been a long time since I have taken the time to go through a book with AJ. He’s 10 years old now and he reads long chapter books without the need for me to help him, so when Noteworthy Books asked me to review The Selfish Giant by Oscar Wilde, Musical Adaptation by Dan Goeller, Illustrations by Chris Beatrice and Narration by Martin Jarvis, I jumped at the chance to not only spend time with my little guy, but also to read a good book and hear some beautiful music.

I wasn’t disappointed.

The Selfish Giant is a heartfelt story that addresses topics such as selfishness, kindness, forgiveness and redemption. I hadn’t heard the story before so I was somewhat shocked at the ending, which was of a Christian nature. It wasn’t a bad ending, just unexpected for me because I hadn’t heard the story before and wasn’t expecting it. The included cd is narrated with the resounding and pleasant voice of Martin Jarvis, who kept me and my son enchanted throughout the 30-minute narration of the book. As a parent, holding a book for that length of time isn’t a pleasant experience, so I caution you to snuggle up with your kid of any age and put a book under your arm. It’s as good an excuse as any to snuggle.

The illustrations in the book are truly beautiful and thoughtfully done. You can almost feel them coming to life as the story is being read to you. My son couldn’t take his eyes off of them and I found myself looking through them for little bits and pieces of the story as well as unnoted commentary. In a book that accompanies a 30-minute cd, the illustrations must be interesting and aesthetically pleasing if you are going to look at a page for any length of time and these were both.

My favorite part of the book was the music. I’m a music lover and I found the music to be perfectly matched to the tone of the book. A few times I found myself closing my eyes to just enjoy what I was hearing and allow myself to drift into the story. At the end of the story there is a 4 minute up-beat montage of children’s music that is just beautiful and my son couldn’t stop bobbing his head to it. I can think of no better compliment.

In conclusion, the book was beautifully put together and definitely worth the time spent putting it together. This would make a wonderful bedtime book. What caught my attention, as well, is that the included cd would be wonderful for a long car ride with little ones. As a parent, getting kids to be quiet for 30 minutes on a long ride is a true blessing and with the beautiful music, excellent narration and amazing pictures, this would be a wonderful addition to any backseat package. Parents, this is a must have and not just for little ones. Like I said, mine is 10 and it held his attention for 30 minutes. Well done.

*Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book in order to review it. Thanks for allowing me to read this book and share my thoughts on it with others!

Scratching my head

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . February 24, 2011 . 7:47PM

There are times my son, AJ, says things to me, and I truly don’t know what to say in return.  He generally pulls things out of mid air and then looks to me for some kind of affirmation or validation that what he’s said is correct or important.  Generally, I can find a creative way of doing this, but there are times it just isn’t possible and my reaction falls along the lines of a stunned silence, a gaping jaw and then the ever graceful, “Whaaaaaaaaaat?”

Today was one such day.  AJ came home after a terrible day at school.  His name was placed on the board for reasons that he felt were extreme and injudicious and he was missing me very much.  It just added insult to injury and he was grateful to be home.  I was grateful to have him home.  Seeing that little face is often my favorite part of the day, so my mood was brightened and I decided that he and I were going to have a better afternoon.

As he does most days, he walked into the kitchen to grab a snack.  He came back to the living room and, with a large grin, told me that he wished he had a lot of money.  This isn’t a new wish, nor is it an individualized wish.  Most of us would prefer more money than we have and I waited patiently for him to explain why he wanted more money.

“If I had more money, I could buy all the whipped cream I wanted! Yo plait is so tasty!”

Whaaaaaaaaaaat?  I waited to see if these were mutually exclusive, but it occurred to me that my son thinks whipped cream and yogurt are the same thing.

No, no, no.  This can’t be.  The same kid that knows the difference between a mocha, cappuccino and a frappe, of which I still have no idea what makes them different, can’t tell the difference between whipped cream and yogurt?

All I can say is Yo plait must be doing something right if yogurt tastes that good.  Or someone is switching labels on the stuff I’m buying him.

Bits and pieces

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . February 5, 2011 . 11:11PM

Sometimes AJ says things and I put them on my facebook, but I don’t record them here. I want to remember them and some of them are too good not to share. As such, here are the bits and pieces of his commentary or commentary about him lately that should be shared.

My son told me today that I am offensive because I am insensitive to kids whose mom’s don’t love them as much as I love him. This is because I tell him all the time, in front of everyone, how special he is and how much I love him. This apparently hurts their feelings and makes them sad that their moms don’t love them as much. The logic of a 10-year old.

In which my son shocks me into a good silence: (we are talking about dogs mating) Me: Ok, AJ. You know about mating? What does mating mean? AJ: It means you find true love! Me: … (Ok, not always, but so, so sweet).

While watching Band of Brothers, AJ is watching a particularly graphic scene of horror.  This is one reason I was cautious about allowing him to watch it, but he has been so pro-violence lately with video games and such that I felt like it was needed.  During the scene he is quiet and has an intense face… After about 10 minutes of it I hear him quietly say, “Harsh!” in a voice that sounds like it has come straight out of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

AJ is going to go take his second shower of the evening thanks to hair gel. “It’s fun to put in lots of hair gel and play with it when it dries.” He looks like a greaser.

Good grief. My son’s usual propensity to not filter his speech is even worse around other kids or men that might want my attention. He may as well pee on me.

Man, this kid is a keeper!