Summer is no fun

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . July 12, 2011 . 3:26PM

At some point this summer, I recognized that my stress levels were a little overwhelming to me. I haven’t been writing in my blog. I’ve been consumed with studying for yet another standardized test that is required for me to prove myself. I cannot count the number of those I’ve had to take over the years of education and I am still anxious about taking them. I’m still working on internship stuff and that is on top of other things that are occurring.

It came to a head today when I looked at the happy meal I’d purchased for lunch and squinted at it while thinking, “You’d better do what you say you do.”

Placing my hopes on that happy meal to make my day go better was an irrational thought, but, at the time, it was something under my control. At this juncture, there are many things outside of my control that directly affect my future and frustrating isn’t the word for how that feels to me. What this also tells me is that I need to spend some time relaxing, once I do take this test and get it finished.

I tried to re-write the last part of this post about 30 times. Nothing felt authentic or right. So, I’ll just say that this summer has been “no fun” and I long for the days that I enjoyed my summer days. I long for the days not so long ago that I had motivation and time to write in my blog or things to write about other than how busy I am studying or working. For now, it is my life. Not always and not forever.