Prom and bad 90s hair

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 6, 2009 . 10:57AM

Other events that were important to my life coincided with the break-up with green eyes. One of the miracles of my life happened right before my junior prom in the form of a teeny, tiny preemie. Livvy, my only sibling and 16 years my junior, came into the world with serious struggles. When I finally got to hold her, through an incubator, she fit into the palm of my medium-sized hands. Rarely have I loved a person so much in my life and they were taking her from me. Our small town was not equipped to handle preemies and she would have to go to a larger hospital. It would be her home, and that of my mother and step-father, for many months. I will always be thankful to the Ronald McDonald house for allowing my mother to be with my sister.

Livvy was born three weeks before my junior prom. As such, my mother didn’t have time to go dress hunting with me or even see me before my junior prom. Thankfully, my aunt stepped in and green eyes and I had a fine night. I think. I don’t remember much of it because there was so much emotional turmoil around that time, both with his absence and Livvy’s health.

Livvy eventually came home and green eyes eventually drifted away and a new normal came to me. It wasn’t without much resistence on my part, however. I lost 30 pounds simply because I wasn’t interested in eating. I was depressed and had lost interested in most everything and everyone around me. I was starting to finally feel like myself when I developed what felt like the worst cold ever. My nose started dripping like a faucet and I’d rubbed the thing raw. My best friend, at the time, was a boy we later determined was related to me somehow. He and I went to Wal-mart, where I worked (I have SO many stories about that place) and saw the new guy stocking the shelves. A cute new guy. One I’d only seen in passing while we were zoning the area at night. I’d been lucky enough to help him a couple of times.

I’d never been a forward kind of girl. I’m shy, especially where my looks are concerned and even with the weight loss, I was sure he wasn’t interested in me. Nevertheless, I went up to him with my dripping, peeling nose and started talking to him. He talked back and seemed amused by what I was saying. Eventually we made a date. One date turned into several and we dated on and off, though mainly on, throughout my senior year of high school. He was a few years older than I was and was very different from the guys I went to school with. He introduced me to “No diggity” (which is still one of my favorite songs) and was probably one of, if not THE nicest person I’ve ever dated. He also took me to Olive Garden for the first time in my 17 years.

I don’t know anyone that didn’t like Aaron. He made friends with all of my friends and the people at work adored him. The girls at work really adored him. He kept his eyes on me. I felt adored. His sister and brother felt like my family. I thought a lot of them and still do. I have no idea what my senior year would have been like if his kind spirit hadn’t been a part of my life. My family was dealing with a lot of issues, not just a new baby. He was there for me and I will always appreciate that about him.

He was also my prom date that year. Strangely enough, I remember most everything about that night. I remember sitting in the chair at my salon and watching my stylist place mini-flowers in my hair and wondering if they looked Asian enough. Would Aaron like them? Was it too much? Were my bangs too high? The answer to the bang question was YES, THEY WERE TOO HIGH.

I remember the moment he saw me and the smile he gave me. I remember that his hands are really strong and when he held mine to walk me into the convention center that I couldn’t stop smiling. We sat with our friends and there was much dancing and laughing. When prom was over, we went to a friend’s house and, in my typical party animal fashion, I promptly fell asleep on the couch.

I’m a winner.

Three weeks later, I broke up with him for a guy who truly believed that there is a dark side and he was a jedi knight. I still have a lot of guilt about this and I’m so, so sorry, Aaron. It was among the most stupid decisions I’ve ever made. I’m a firm believe that things turn out the way they should, though, and I’m really glad that we are still friends. You were the best prom date ever.

Being blueshelled : how to cope

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . July 13, 2009 . 3:43PM

I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so….scared!!! If you know what that’s from, you get 5 pop culture points. For those of us who grew up in the 80s and 90s, you know exactly what I’m talking about and to say that life has been one big ball of Jessie Spano losing her marbles lately is an understatement. This is all to say that life just got really complicated really quickly and here’s why: school. Yep. That’s it. School.

It’s rare that I talk about school-related stuff because the majority of you out there aren’t in school, or, if you are, you have your own problems. Translation: You don’t give a monkey’s Heineken about my problems. And that’s cool. I probably wouldn’t either.

What happened was that I was taking one, full summer course. It met one night a week from 5-9. That’s not a problem. I can handle it. Then, summer term II came around and added a second class. However, since it’s only ONE summer term, it means that the class must meet 2 nights a week. Are you still with me? The gist is that I am now in school from 5-9, 3 nights and week and the overall effect is that A.J. is gone those days because of the problems between my schedule and Leon’s. I’m finding it hard to focus.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still paying attention and I’m in class. When you get to the level I’m at in my education, you can’t avoid paying attention or you will fail. I just miss him. And it’s not healthy for him to not see me for 3 days straight in a week. He’s gone before I’m up in the morning and in bed before I get home. I hate it.

But it’s only a month. And until then, I’ll be ok. Remember, a blue shell isn’t permanent. It’s temporary. Every now and then I have them and so do you. I know this probably isn’t my most insightful or my best post, but I felt obliged to let you know what was going on and why things had been different lately. Bottom line: I’ve been blueshelled. Now it’s time to pull out the stops and get back on top.