She came and is wonderful and beautiful, sugar and spice and everything nice and just a little bit of spicy tortilla, because she wouldn’t be part of the group if she weren’t a little feisty, right? It’s easy to adore her and, for the most part, April’s pregnancy and labor went beautifully. Mom and baby are fine, Daddy is beaming and everything is happy. They are adjusting well to their new situation and those of us who waited for them to become a family can feel the love and watch them glow as they grow in their new life together.

However, sometimes challenges arise that threaten the happiness. They often do and they often will when you have a child. Some of them are under your control and some are not. Something has come up that April and Chris prepared for, but due to negligence, has fallen out of their hands. I want to draw your attention to Chris’s post where he explains this fully, but Baptist Hospital in Nashville, where they gave birth, is trying to steal from them. Yes, those are harsh words. This is a harsh situation. See, a deal is a deal and April and Chris made a deal with the hospital to pay them money for the labor and delivery up front. The hospital kept their money for 2 months prior to the birth of their child and then the hospital was supposed to offer them a discount on that labor and delivery. It is to ensure the hospital is paid in a timely manner and that if something were to happen to April and the baby prior to that date that they would still get some of their fees.

Again, this was a deal that they make with perspective parents as an incentive to give birth in their hospital and birthing babies is a lucrative practice. In a city like Nashville where there are 2 or 3 hospitals in a ten mile radius, where you give birth is important. You go to the place that you trust to take care of not only your child, but also mama and daddy. My understanding is that the care Chris, April and sweetpea received was wonderful while they were in the hospital. It is the shoddy way they are being treated now that is unfair and wrong.

The gist of the story is that April had false labor and instead of applying the money she had already paid to her labor and delivery and giving her the discount on that, which was the DEAL, which is what she had ALREADY PAID FOR, they put the money paid onto her bill for that evening. Now, the way I see it, the bill for the labor and delivery should already have been generated and marked PAID with that money and anything extra should have been billed later. If something happened and April did not give birth, then they would need to refund the money. It’s that simple. What is happening now is that Baptist is seeing a way to milk two young parents out of much needed funds and this is not just wrong, it’s bad business.

What I am asking from all of you is for your support for these two as well as what can they do in this situation? Can they report them to the better business bureau? Who should they talk to regarding this? Do they need a lawyer? What are their options? Any support you can offer would be greatly appreciated. If you have time to go read Chris’s blog and offer him support there, I know he and April would appreciate it so much.

What Baptist Hospital in Nashville is doing is not ok. A deal is a deal and you get what you PAY for, not what someone else decides you get. What awful customer service!

Edit: Well done, Baptist! Baptist has decided to fix this oversight and do the right thing! It’s nice to see someone step up to the plate!

My son, AJ, is 10 years old. He is in the fifth grade.

Ashlynn Conner was 10 years old and in the fifth grade. Ashlynn’s mother reported that, last Thursday, Ashlynn came home from school and asked to be placed in homeschool because other children called her fat, a slut and bullied her constantly. Ashlynn’s mother declined, as most mother’s I know would. Unlike most mothers I know, she did not press the issue further. The following morning, Ashlynn’s sister found her hanging from a scarf in her closet.

I’m about to get judgmental and self-righteously angry. If that kind of behavior bothers you or you want to play the “no blame” game where the lives of children are concerned because the people who knew her are being punished enough right now, you should probably stop reading.

Ashlynn’s mother, Stacy, notes that Ashlynn had come home crying from school two weeks ago because kids were taunting her. She states that she “thought her kids were strong kids” implying that kids that can’t handle bullying are weak and that her own daughter, who committed suicide, wasn’t strong because she couldn’t handle what was coming at her because Stacy’s “guidance” should have been stronger than the constant barrage of nastiness coming at her at school. I want to challenge that statement with perhaps her daughter didn’t feel supported in any environment.

Stacy noted that kids both at school and in their neighborhood bullied Ashlynn and called her ugly and she hopes that Ashlynn’s story will prevent other kids from being bullied. What stopped this mother from preventing her own child from being bullied? What allowed her to step back and let kids in the neighborhood and in her school overtake adult sensibilities and prevent her from protecting her child in her learning environment, at the very least? How does allowing the death of her child to protect others absolve her from how very little she did to protect her child?

I understand Stacy is hurting. Never, in anything she tells the press, did anything she say indicate to me that she took any measure to protect her child. It takes a lot for a child to come to a parent begging to be removed from a school environment. I don’t pretend I know what kind of child Ashlynn Conner was. I don’t know if she was a dramatic child who overemphasized everything, but I highly doubt that there were no signs that this child was struggling, especially considering her mother admitted to them. There are national laws preventing bullying in school systems. Where was this child’s teacher? Where was this child’s school staff? Where was the communication between them and the parent? You can try to justify to me that a teacher has 30 students, but not every teacher in this child’s day had no time to notice what was going on if she was being called “fat,” “ugly,” and a “slut.”

Someone explain this to me, because I don’t understand why no one is being called on the inattention to her cries for help or the inaction by any adult in the life of this 10-year old child. On a personal note, my son left his last school, on the last day of school, with his school tshirt covered in black marker thanks to two bullies in his class. I immediately contacted his principal and informed him that the teacher was notified and she did nothing. I also let him know that she’d been notified that these two children had continued to bully my son throughout the year and she’d promised me that she was “taking care of it.” I was aware of the school bullying policy and the national laws regarding bullying and that he was welcome to call me to discuss it. That teacher was not asked back to teach this year.

This year, my son started school and one of those two children was in his class and immediately started the same issues. I contacted the teacher and stated that I would like a conference with her regarding this. Within 30 minutes of school starting the following morning, both boys were in the guidance office and the issue was fixed. I can’t discuss why the other boy bullies, as it has to do with his own personal issues, but he does not bully my son or the other children at that school anymore. I stepped in when his guardian wouldn’t due to her inattention or unwillingness because I have to protect MY child.

Being an interactive parent is one of the most important parts of parenting. There is no excuse for not being an interactive parent. I have as many irons in the fire as anyone I know, and if you read this blog, you understand why. I am as involved in my son’s life as I can be, even on the days where I don’t get home until it’s time for him to go to bed.

Not every parent has the proper skills for parenting. To me, that is not a get out of jail free card when you fail your children. It does not mean that you use your story as a warning to other parents to absolve yourself. It means you buck up and take the punishment when you fail them so miserably that you’ve caused neglect through inaction or death through negligence. Where were the school counselors? Where was the mental health help here?

Absolutely, use Ashlynn Conner’s death as a warning to other parents, but don’t let this slip into just another story we forget next week. Use it to promote better policies and procedures in school. Force interaction between staff and parents. Use it to promote outreach to parents on protocol when their child is bullied and for the sake of all this is good, parents and teachers, bullying is ZERO TOLERANCE. Don’t toe the line with it. Little bullies grow up to be big bullies.

Edit: Another 10 year old girl, this one from North Carolina, has hanged herself. Jasmine McClain hanged herself on Monday after being bullied badly in school and, apparently, on Facebook (it’s possible that the sheriff just noticed kids coming forward to comment on the abuse on Facebook). She had left her school for a while to escape the bullying, but returned a month ago. Her mother says she was “unaware that Jasmine was so tormented.” Again, in this situation, I have no idea how someone claims to be unaware after removing her child from school and only allowing her back last month. I’ve already backed my opinions up in the comments, though, so please read those if you would like to fricassee me for being upset with the mother in this case. If parents and school administration are not prompted at this point to take a hard stand about bullying TODAY, AT THIS INSTANT, then we as a society need to force the issue. ENOUGH. No one is allowed to claim ignorance about this anymore. No one is allowed to blame others. We must address this and it must happen now.

Also, I saw this while I was reading last night and I thought to myself, “If this is what our special needs kids are dealing with we need to flush out our schools completely and start over.”

Edit: 11/20/11 Excellent information on what a parent whose child is being bullied can do. I found this on Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is an amazing website. Please go look around on there. They have warning signs, a pledge to stop bullying, and a few other things that are tied to this specific topic. Plus, they are a good site to have on hand with the rate of suicide in our country.

Edit: 12/16/11 Jerome Sattler, considered a founding father where school psychology is considered because he writes the books that are considered the “bibles” for the profession, has done a great public presentation on bullying/cyber bullying that I highly recommend. You can find it here at the psychology page for San Diego State University where he is a Psychology Professor.

“You all want to be teachers. We’ve talked about bullying, but what you probably don’t realize is that some of the biggest offenders of bullying in schools are the staff. That’s right. I’m pointing my finger at all of you and telling you now to be careful how you conduct yourself because your actions can be just as, if not more, harmful than the actions that these students deal with in their peers. I recently read a study that told me that teachers instigate bullying on a regular basis. The ways they do this are by ignoring children that are “dumb,” laughing at the jokes children make at another child, feeding into the relational aggression ala Mean Girls by taking sides or allowing it in their classrooms, lunch rooms, gymnasiums and hallways, or, what I consider to be most hurtful, going into their teacher’s lounge and commiserating about children and actively working against the better needs of the child by making the child a pariah amongst the adults as well. They also do this by writing intentionally vague and negative comments that stay in a child’s report card file until they graduate high school. This is all BULLYING and YOU are going to buy into it…unless you consider it and stop yourself now. You can do this with self-awareness and the knowledge that you will NOT be that kind of teacher and that you are teaching to make a positive impact and not crush a child’s will.”

By this time, I was gaining momentum. The room was completely silent. I have my class write journals and I knew that some of them had been bullied by teachers. One of the ways I teach my students is to share stories with them about my experiences both as a student and as a teacher. Now was the time for me to wince and share some of my personal experiences. Earlier this semester, I’d had them do an experiment on assumptions and write a journal about it. One assumption they made about me was that I’d never been bullied. It’s not true. I’d been bullied by a few students, but what really impacted me was the way some of my teachers treated not only me, but my fellow students.

“When I was in high school, I was pretty naive. I thought that teachers always had your best interests in mind and that they could be counted on to act like adults. I’d had an experience in junior high where I’d made the mistake of acting like I was going to throw my basketball at my coach. She flipped out, screamed at me in front of my team and shamed me. I didn’t play much that season and I never tried out for basketball again. Looking back on that behavior as an adult, I’m appalled and curious as to why no one thought that behavior was irrational at the time? However, in high school, I had this idea that everything was going to be different. New friends, new classes, new teachers, a new start and that things were going to be ok. I was wrong.”

“See, adults still do the petty things adults do, even when they teach. Professionalism is key. An English teacher lost her cool and called an entire sophomore class “a bunch of bitches.” She later apologized, but I don’t remember her getting into any real trouble for something that, as a parent, I would take serious issue over. We weren’t acting like a “bunch of bitches” that day. She was having a bad day, we were all working on projects and we weren’t moving quickly enough is what I remember. I was surprised and vaguely concerned that she’d lost her marbles. She also put on the school’s musical. I was helping with sound and when a tape was played improperly she went berserk. It heavily defined my high school years. Not only did she go crazy on me for what another person admitted was that person’s fault at having not rewound the tape earlier in the evening, but she didn’t bother to defend me to an angry cast of people. She walked out of the auditorium and left a freshman to deal with something that was beyond her control. I dealt with the fallout from that for not days, not weeks, not months, but YEARS. I still have nightmares about that. As adults, you are responsible for YOUR responses and for helping to calm the responses of others.”

As I spoke, some students began to look nervously at their hands and what I realized is that they weren’t bored. They weren’t uncomfortable with my story. My story had triggered their stories. I went on.

“Around that time, because of the issue with that teacher, I began lying about things to look better. I was miserable with life. I felt like I had no support and that people weren’t listening when I’d defend myself with the truth so lies were better. Because of that, when I auditioned for something that meant a lot to me, I didn’t make it. When I went to talk to the new sponsor for that activity, it ultimately boiled down to my not being able to be in the activity because a couple of the guys in that activity couldn’t get beyond it and they were short on guys. It wasn’t my lack of talent. It wasn’t that I wasn’t capable. It was that the guys couldn’t get beyond and they couldn’t lose them. The teacher had not only allowed the bullying, he’d promoted it. He didn’t help their growth and he shattered my self-esteem.”

I took a deep breath and sat down at my table in the front of the room.

“Why am I telling you this? Do I need you to feel sorry for me? Absolutely not. I am less than a year from getting my doctorate and I have no idea what path my life would have taken had I not developed the resolve that those experiences gave me. I’m telling you this because every single action you take as an educator COUNTS. Every minute of every day, every smile, every frown, every word, every shrug. It all counts. When you take actions to make your everyday life easier at the cost of hurting a child, you have no idea what the repercussions may be or how long-lasting. I remember those teachers. Let me tell you what else I remember. I remember the fourth grade teacher that wrote to me for 2 years after I moved because I was lonely. I remember the high school communication student teacher that taught me how to be a confident speaker. I remember the band teacher that gave me a chance to learn an instrument when all of the other students had been playing for years. I remember the community college professor that listened to what I wrote and proclaimed it brilliant. I remember the undergraduate professor who still writes me to tell me he’s proud of what I’m doing. I remember the masters professor who comments on my accomplishments with such happiness that I smile to know that she genuinely cares. I remember the doctoral professors who cared enough that in some dark days they cut me a real break when I needed it. I remember ALL those teachers. The good and the bad. What kind of teacher will you be? Whatever kind it is, you will be remembered. But HOW will you be remembered?”

I closed my eyes, shuffled my papers and waited. My students are insightful and this sparked discussion as to the experiences they had and the problems that they’d encountered. Those aren’t mine to share. As we grow up, we forget what it is like to be a child. We forget that people aren’t always nice and those that are supposed to protect us, advocate for us, don’t always do their job. Hopefully, I reminded them and they take it with them. If they don’t, they can always email me and I’ll give them advice.

It’s my job.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time in the last couple of years reading about shelter animals and rescue dogs, and the number of puppies and kittens that are brought back to shelters after the holidays is staggering. I’m not going to get on my soapbox for long, but I would like to make a request in that I’d like for anyone that is considering a puppy this year to consider a couple of options.

One option is to consider a fully grown dog or cat from a shelter or a rescue site. Dogs are often trained and do well with children. They can be just as cute and cuddly as puppies and need just as much love. They are silly and friendly and sweet. They also piddle on the floor a lot less. Cats are independent and don’t need much to be amused. They are easily potty-trained and if you ever wanted to know what to do with empty toilet-rolls, now you know.

If you absolutely must have a puppy or kitten, please find them at a shelter, if you can. Shelters are overrun in the cold weather and the number of animals that are put to sleep is astounding.

Lastly, when you get your new animal, please take care of it’s doggy/kitty parts and make sure it can’t procreate. It helps keep the pet population down and animals from being stuck in poor situations.

My dog, Sophie, is one of the joys of my life. She was rescued by a family about 2 hours from where I live and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. When I’m sick she sleeps by my side. When I wake up in the morning she cuddles me. When I leave the house, she cries because she can’t go with me. As I type this, I sit cross-legged on my recliner. Sophie is at my feet. She wasn’t a puppy when I got her and she’s not the most beautiful dog in the world. I love her tremendously and she is one of my best friends.

You can see my right sidebar for Dogs in Danger, which is a site that lets you know about dogs that are in Kill shelters and need a home near you. You can also donate to the humane society there. You can google for shelters in your area and Petfinder.com often allows shelters to use them as a resource.

Please help save an animal this season. Dogs, cats, turtles, you name it, need a good home. If you choose an animal this year, please be a responsible pet owner.

AJ and I have a special bond. Even at 9, he longs to spend time with me every day. I’ve been sick recently and can’t go up and down the steps. He’s been sleeping in my bed to make sure I don’t need anything in the middle of the night. As I read my book, due to my insomnia, I notice that he will roll towards me and reach his little hand out so he can hold my hand while he sleeps. When he wakes up and notices that I’m there, he smiles a sleepy smile and says in a surprised voice, “I love you, Mama” and rolls back into that deep eyed slumber that involves him giggling in his sleep and talking to whatever person is entertaining him in dream world.

Dominick Calhoun

Dominick’s family, minus his mother, are working hard to enact Dominick’s Law which would increase the penalties for child abusers. The family has a facebook page that addresses the process of passing the bill and what the bill entails.

So, now we mourn the passing of Dominick and, as a mother, I fear more for my child. The idea that someone I could trust could hurt my child sends fear through me. The one thing I know is that I will die before I knowingly let it happen. Tonight, when he stretches out his hand, I’ll hold it just a little bit tighter.

Those in my life that know me best know that I’m generally quite apathetic on most issues and due to my profession, I support people as to their decisions. With that said, I am adamantly pro-life for many personal reasons and many well thought out ones. As a humanist, a scientist, a mother, a woman, a friend, a social science major and someone who cares deeply for others…I can be nothing else.

My husband wrote a post today, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. I’m linking it here. My personal whys will remain unsaid… Sometimes it is better that way.

In Memoriam

This is the post that you should be reading regardless of all of those things because even if you don’t think it’s YOUR problem, it’s OUR problem and I’m seriously worn out by it. The only way to fix it is to pull together and collectively decide we’re done and that we are going to publicly shame and shun for this offense and quit letting people slide. The only way to help that is to create stronger messages. And, chances are, you know someone who has a problem with this and, chances are, you are shaking your head and getting ready to close the window on this post. Let me explain myself.

Before my 18th birthday, I’d lost several friends to drinking and driving. I’m not talking about people I’d heard of through the grapevine. I’m talking about living, breathing people. One was in the band with me. One could hug like you wouldn’t believe. One shyly told me in the 6th grade that he wouldn’t mind dating me at all (ah, 6th grad boys). One was the quiet guy in the corner that never said a word. Those are just a few. By my 21st birthday, the numbers went higher and higher.

Less than a month ago, I received word that a boy from my hometown was killed. He was adamantly against drinking and driving and involved in some of the same groups that opposed it that I was involved with in high school. This 19 year old was also the nephew of my junior high best friend, so I’d spent a lot of time with him in his younger years. He’d had many health issues and struggled so much just to have a normal life. What I remember most about him, at that age, were these gorgeous, huge eyes that stared at me, and a beautiful smile that wouldn’t quit.

By all accounts, this boy turned into a young man, was succeeding in life. The man who hit him survived. The family is devastated. Shouldn’t they be? Wouldn’t you be?

If it were AJ…I don’t know that I could be rational.

So, when does it stop being acceptable? When do we stop allowing our friends to drive when they insist they are ok to drive? When do we push the cabs on them or make sure there is a DD before we serve them? I’ve never had a problem being DD being that I’m not a big drinker. Surely, I’m not the only one out there? Many restaurants offer to pay for cabs. Many bars do as well. How many of you would turn down someone if they called asking for a ride? So why isn’t this happening?

Why is it, when we find out someone has committed this offense, that we write it off as just another mistake? Is it not, and I’m going to say something extreme here, so please brace yourself, techincally attempted assault, at the very least? Attempted harm to another person? Suicide is illegal. At the very least, attempted harm to oneself? Attempted murder? What makes this any different from someone who actively goes after another person? Or someone who is going after multiple people wielding a weapon weighing over a ton? I’m aware they are charged with DUI, but it doesn’t feel like enough. Especially when many people are allowed to slide after multiple DUI’s for reasons such as knowing the judge in a small town.

Yes, I KNOW they think they are fine to drive and who are you to tell them they aren’t? They are impaired. It’s what alcohol does and why people like it so much. If it didn’t make people feel uninhibited, they wouldn’t drink it. Some people are fine to drive. Some people aren’t.

When do we stop giving them a free pass?

It broke my heart. The only thing that kept me from bawling my eyes out was that I am expected to keep professional decorum in the classroom. Little boys, aged 9 according to the narrative, were placed on opposite sides of a make-shift ring (on a basketball court) and held back by older boys. They were then told to go at each other and chided when they didn’t. I was watching these babies beat the crud out of each other and, with every hit, I felt a piece of my heart die. At the end of the fight, when an older boy gleefully proclaimed “Knock out!” and one 9-year old jumped up and down and the other cried his little boy eyes out, I felt physically ill. The loser was then heckled for not being stronger and tougher. He was slumped in a corner and was hurting and all I could see was my 8-year old’s face and build in this little guy.

He was just a little guy.

I understand that they are teaching them adaptive skills for where they are living. It kills me that they have to do so.

He’s just a little guy.

When A.J. skins his knee, he winces and I want to hold him. This little one got punched and kicked and beat down. I cannot imagine what his life is like.

Life isn’t fair. It just isn’t. Boys are growing too fast in these areas. They are being groomed for a life that is so far beyond what they should have to deal with and what they are capable of handling. Maybe I need to grow a thicker skin and face reality because I suppose that I’ve been naive as to what is happening out in the world. There is a part of me that wants to save them them all. The realist in me realizes I can’t. It’s a helpless feeling.

He’s just a little guy…

I’ll take this one from neatorama. She looks nice and scared. She can come home with me.

Here’s what would happen if I took Tubby home, though. She would first pee on my clothes while rubbing on both Leon and A.J. and destroying my dogs and their will to live. Then she’d eat all of my food and pee on my furniture, only in the places where I sit. Every time I bothered to look at my husband, who would be her new human, she’d glare at me with a look that said “I’m waiting until you die so I can eat your face.” Would you like to know how I know this? Check out this page and see the header “Francis.”

The only thing you really need to know from all of this is that I love animals of most sorts. Not all animals. PETA can come hate on me whenever they want. There are certain animals that scare the bejeebus out of me and that won’t change no matter how much paint or food coloring you splatter on me.

I have a particularly tender heart for animals, actually. I’m one of those people that love my pets like family and care about their well-being. So, for someone like me, the internet can be an unusually hazardous place to navigate. It also makes me angry beyond belief and right now my heart is breaking and my temper is lit like Times Square on New Years Eve.

After reading this article, I am troubled. There is no doubt in my mind that the media used the most flippant picture they could find of this young girl, but it’s hard for me to not want to reach through the computer and tell her some things. In the article, the girl, who is 17 years old and named Cheyenne, said that she roasted her ex-roommate’s kitten to death in the stove as a joke.

A joke.

She roasted a kitten alive as “a joke.” Normal people do not consider this “a joke.” This is after they broke into the person’s apartment and trashed it. That was the beginning of the joke. Then they threw the cat into the stove and left it there to burn. The article, written by Lisa Coleangelo, Erica Pearson and Bill Hutchinson states that she was charged with “aggravated cruelty to animals, burglary, arson, reckless endangerment and criminal mischief.” They then released her into her mother’s custody, where she obviously has freedom to do whatever she wants in the first place.

Ok, let’s cast a little aspersion on character for just a small second here. Who, in their right mind, considers what this person did a sound idea? A just idea? When people start harming animals in adolescence, it often leads to stronger issues in adulthood. Of course, they don’t mention if she had any kind of mental check, but they won’t release that kind of information. We have to assume they didn’t or, if they did, she checked out just fine.

Where do we draw the line? If someone is 17, almost an adult, and they show this lack of judgment, what does that mean, if anything? We have graduated licenses for those drivers that aren’t quite ready for the responsibility, what about graduated adulthood? Granting those teenagers that show wise judgment the rights and responsibilities of adulthood and putting those that do not on a graduated course that they, ideally, should have already taken in economics, parenting, society and good common sense, in high school?

I know, I know. It’s a strong statement, but I’m feeling strongly about this today. Thoughts?

William Cunningham is a man who, in a disgusting attempt to gain funds from Campbell’s soup, put lighter fluid in his children’s soup and almost killed them.

It is difficult to work in any kind of helping profession and not become an advocate for children. It’s next to impossible for a parent, working in that profession, to not get herself in massive amounts of trouble when it comes to things like this because her fury overwhelms her.

When I read this story, I was reminded of the anger and upset I felt when I heard about the Susan Smith and Andrea Yates cases. In this particular case, I don’t know whether or not he intended to kill his children, but the fact that he was using their lives as pawns in a sick money scheme for his own benefit has never been in question.

The other night, Leon was out of town and AJ was sleeping. Those moments when I can observe him like the possessive mother that I am are rare and precious because he rarely allows me to just WATCH him. He will make silly faces, or fill the silence with his boyish chatter. When he sleeps, I become aware of how vulnerable he is and how, even though he’s a tall child, he’s small inside with a big heart.

I continue to try to understand how someone can look at their child and see dollar signs. What compels that kind of behavior? I can look at it and diagnose it and think about it rationally and logically, but I want to understand the emotion that is behind that kind of behavior.

I spend many nights carefully considering the best decisions for my child in the long run. What happened within this parent that he didn’t? How quick was his snap to this level?

It doesn’t matter if I ever understand why someone can do this, and truthfully, I don’t know if that knowledge would soothe me or disturb me. The one thing I do know and recognize is that by seeing these cases 2 things are perfectly clear:
1/There are many parents out there that are doing the absolute best they can without harming their children in any way &
2/the only thing I can do in this situation is change my awareness levels and work to help others with their own.

The focus of the show was on a program called “Puppies behind Bars.” The program gives puppies to inmates in prison and has them train dogs to be service dogs for disabled, handicapped and ex-servicemen from the military who have needs. The show focused on how the dogs change both the lives of the prisoners and the lives of the servicemen for the better.

Now, I have no problem showing emotion, but I was doing everything could to hold it together for this one because if I let it start, it wasn’t going to stop. Dogs are special to me because I know what they can do to heal someone’s spirit. I’ve long considered using my dogs in therapy and it may yet happen. To watch these incarcerated men, some for violent crime, break down and weep because of these dogs, was heart-wrenching. To see someone with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder slowly healing with the help of a dog was humbling. We all want unconditional love, don’t we?

Here’s why: I have no idea how big 30 stone is. I don’t care if you are 2 stone, 30 stone or 3000 stone. Because I don’t know what that means and I’m too lazy to look it up, it suddenly becomes irrelevant to my story. What is relevant is that the woman, presumably she of the 30 stones, is nourishing her children with McDonald’s at 6 months old.

I’ll wait for your shock and awe to pass. Look, there may be some extenuating circumstances that I don’t know about and I’m prepared for that. If there is something I don’t understand, someone contact me and I can say I’m wrong. Check back for the edit and it may eventually be here. I doubt it, but maybe. However, as a mom, I feel like this is pretty irresponsible.

Within the article, it notes that the babies consume about 1,250 calories a day. Listen, I don’t talk about my lifestyle changes a lot here, but I don’t consume much more than that. I’m close to 6′ tall. I’m a large woman. These are infants. 8 months old. Most 8 month olds cannot even walk, so it’s not as if they are burning calories. This cannot bode well for these children. How is this not considered child abuse?

Studies have shown that children who are obese that have an obese parent have a 79% chance of being obese as an adult (Whitaker, et. al, 1997). What do you think the opportunities are for these children to avoid heart related illness?

As parents, we are called required to be diligent in how we teach our children to make choices about their bodies. There is a reason they use the word “neglect.” It’s negligent to give a child who is still developing nothing but this junk. In the last 4 months, I’ve watched AJ change his way of thinking about food. He’s still able to eat the “good stuff” now and then, but he doesn’t live on it. Since then, he’s been sick much, much less. He doesn’t get winded as easily. He’s a happier person. I’m not saying you have to be thin to be happy. I’m saying, give your children the choice of whether or not they want to have high cholesterol or other heart related issues. Don’t force it on them due to your own laziness and neglect.

Citations:
Whitaker, R.C., Wright, J.A., Pepe, M.S., Seidel, K.D., & Dietz, W.H. (1997). Predicting obesity in young adulthood from childhood and parental obesity. The New England Journal of Medicine. 337(13), 869-873.

This has led to almost a fanatic obsession with the online website The Consumerist. It not only informs me of anything shady that is going down, it gives me a healthy dose of anger and “holding the man down” mentality. I like it.

I was looking for a nice anger rush when I saw this post. It includes this quote:

Speaking to analysts during US Airways Group Inc.’s earnings call last week, president Scott Kirby said that airline clearly has made a lot of money by charging for checked bags.

But that doesn’t mean that Southwest isn’t benefiting from not charging the fees, he said.

“It’s possible that Southwest receives a very small market share from a number of carriers,” Kirby said.

Yep, that did it.

I don’t fly often, but I’m fixin’ to start. For those of you that don’t live in the South, that means I’m preparing myself to begin. I have to attend several conferences in the next year and this will require copious amounts of travel. I pack fairly light, but I know for sure that I am absolutely not paying for my bags. I’m just not. I already pay far too much for the convenience of going places and then get “fee’d” out the wazoo.

So, what I’m telling US Airways and all those other punks who think they are getting my cash and can charge me extra for stuff that they should be providing as part of what I’m already paying for: Forget it. I’ll take my business elsewhere and I’m not the only one. I will drive before I’ll pay you my money because I think that business ethics count. Some things are just the cost of doing business.

In the South, people say you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. And, Honey, you sure did miss the point.