Genuine Surprise!

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . August 7, 2010 . 9:26PM

I so love a good surprise. Not the “Oh cripes he just spilled a milkshake in the backseat” kind of surprise. One where I had no idea it was coming and it makes me cry like a little wuss.

Because I’m a girl and a good cry from joy can make me happier than anything. And I’m ok with being a wuss.

When I don’t know that anything is coming to my post office box, I check it less frequently. Honestly, I don’t need Hardees coupons or local flyers. When I opened my box this week, I had a gift. It was a slip of an envelope that had Kurt Halsey’s name on it.

One of my first blogs, in a much different time of my life, was about a custom Kurt Halsey piece that Leon had commissioned for me for Christmas. I love his work and lately had been longing for something that represented where I feel I am now.

I mentioned in my twitter that I was wishing for the postcards of his most recent works. I had no idea what I’d do with them, but I would find something creative. In my mailbox this week were these.

Thank you, mystery gifter. You have no idea what kind of week I’ve had and what they meant. Kurt included a couple of handwritten post its that made me weepy.

And I cried.

Like the little wuss I am.

And I loved it.

Heartbroken but not lost

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . June 7, 2010 . 10:53PM

The premise of this blog is that life moves on even though circumstance will try to take you down. The last several months have been a challenge, to say the least, and this weekend, in particular, was trying. I’m surrounded by good people, though, and I continue to remind myself that life will continue on even though it feels like everything ends at each particular point in time that I struggle.

I spent some time this evening reflecting and pushing myself out of my comfort zone and letting myself talk to others and be myself again and what I realized is that my struggle is not singular. If I’m having a bad weekend, someone else reading this is struggling as well. I want you to know that even if your heart is breaking, your body is aching, your mind feels lost and you feel fragile…you are not alone and someone cares deeply for you. The things that happen are hard and heart-breaking and stunning, but they are not the end for you.

Continue to grow and love and move forward. I’m going to try to do the same along with you.

More Mapco love

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . April 14, 2010 . 2:38PM

I know you may be tired of hearing how much I love my Mapco. I promise they don’t sponsor my blog, but if they did, I’d shout it even more. One of the advertising folks over there read the post about Bryan and my 1am adventure and sent me a very sweet note and a gas card as a thank you. It made my day. I’d post the note, but my phone camera just isn’t that great. It looks gorgeous, but doesn’t like Times New Roman. And my Mapco now has a Quiznos which means I can get my ham and swiss EVERY DAY. I love them. And they aren’t paying me to say that. I LOVE THEM. I believe in rewarding places that are clean, nice, well-stocked and helpful to me when I’m there. It’s capitalism, people! And now that they were more nice to me, I’ll go there even more often. Yes, I will.

Lately, I’ve had a lot of time to think and what I think is that being kind is underrated. The simple things in day to day life are making or breaking me the last couple of weeks and a nice word or gesture is really all it takes to salvage a day.

What I’ve also realized is that the little things in life that make a person miserable aren’t worth it and if something is toxic that it needs to be cut out like a boil. If you constantly find yourself feeling a certain way about a certain thing, a certain idea, or a certain person that makes you feel bad or unhappy, then, as painful as that is, sometimes you have to let go. Especially if you feel like you can’t confront the feeling head-on or support the person as they are.

But mainly, kindness is really really important. And if someone isn’t kind to you in your darkest of moments, move on. And when a gas company is, support them.

Even Stevens, do you hear me?

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . February 16, 2010 . 10:10PM

So, my karma has been on the evil side of bad lately.

Frankly, I knew it was coming. I’ve been a bad girl and I was due. When it came, it came and hit me horribly. Without going into all the details, life came crashing down and the effects are long-lasting and hard. Sickness and horror upon friends and acquaintances, hard times, school frustration, you name it. The business of life has been quite a lot to bear lately.

However, I’ve taken my licks like a woman and not a child and I think that I have just about had enough. Tonight, we’re in the black, karma. In. the. black.

I just went to take a shower. I was stank. Truly. My hair was greasy. I have been inside with the dogs all day due to snow and I just needed to feel clean. I leave tomorrow for a conference and if I don’t shower tonight, my long, thick, wavy hair will never dry in time for me to make my flight. It’s why I take my showers at night unless I want to have a bad 80s perm all day.

After making my way upstairs, I gathered my pajamas and went to the bathroom where I noticed that one of my two major sources of light was out. This wouldn’t be a problem but I needed to shave my legs. I know this is too much information, but bear with me. You have to know this part of the story. I’m 5’11″ and my body is all legs. I need that light to see and, quite frankly, I’d been waiting to shave until the night before the trip so I’d be silky smooth. Ladies, you know what I mean.

With a dubious look to the light, I started the water and figured I’d soldier on. How difficult could shaving be in the semi-dark? I could still see the legs, just not the hair.

This is the part where karma laughs at me loud and long.

We’re all good until the shaving part. I’ve put my conditioner in to set while I shave. With the first stroke, I know I’m in trouble. My blade is dull. It’s the last blade I have left before a trip I’m going on tomorrow and all I have is a dull blade, hairy legs and a dark bathroom. I make the unwise decision that if I shave MORE SLOWLY the blade will still do the work of a sharp blade.

I’m a smart person. This was not a smart moment.

I cannot see the leg, so I shave some areas and not others and then shave over some parts and make them sensitive and tender to touch. Nicks are everywhere.

This is when karma and I become even.

Someone in my house, either the 9-year-old or the 32-year-old, makes the unwitting decision that I need to be put in my place once and for all: They turn the water on. As I’m sliding the dull blade up my leg, yet again, the water goes from luke warm to scalding in about 2 seconds. I jump, the blade skips up my leg and…you can see where this is going.

I still have conditioner in my hair.

I’m hurt.

I’m angry.

And this is not funny.

Eventually the water turns lukewarm and I throw the razor across the bathroom and wash my hair out.

We are even, karma. Even Stevens. Do you hear me? It’s over.

Female dog attacks

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 23, 2009 . 4:17PM

Sometimes our friends want to know how Leon and I argue. We generally are both pretty good humored and seem like our relationship is even-flowing. We’re like any other couple in that we have lots of ups and downs. Things aren’t always as flawless as they may seem. I’d like to think that we handle things with a certain finesse, however.

Here’s one example.

In the middle of a disagreement…

Leon: (begins laughing uncontrollably)
Jillian: WHAT?!
Leon: I was just thinking “Maybe if I stay very still she’ll think I’m dead and attack something else.”
Jillian:…
Jillian: …
Jillian: I don’t even know what to say right now
(Later he admits that he thought “It’s not working, run away!”)

Yep. That’s our marriage.