Good Golly, Miss Molly

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . June 27, 2010 . 11:41PM

Oh dear. Oh my. Oh good golly.

One of my favorite things about summertime is the storms. The outrageous, amazing, beautiful, loud, house-shaking, booming, scary movie, better wrap yourself in a blanket and have some hot chocolate and snuggle with your honey thunderstorms that hit the South are this wondrous creation that you have to experience to believe. I’ve mentioned my love of the storms while I was growing up in Illinois. There are few things I like better than a good thunderstorm. I like to sit in my car and watch it through the sunroof. Or through the windows of my house. Or if I’m at a house with a screened in porch, that is the bees knees, right there. If a slight breeze is to be had to give me goose pimples, oh goodness, that is about the best to be had.

It’s about my idealized version of heaven.

I do love a good storm.

Not everyone shares my feelings of a storm. No, not everyone.

Not even everyone in my house. The humans are fine with it. Generally, they think of it as a burden to their baseball schedules. Well, with the exception of this human who clearly finds it a delightful slice of life. The turtle and the cat seem to be a-ok oblivious to the storm and think of it as another sound effect to a life of monotony. And 3 out of 4 dogs like to snuggle under the blanket and beg for the hot chocolate.

But that 1 dog…she is an unhappy little noodlehead when it comes to thunderstorms. She’s a much better predictor than the weatherman, bless his heart. I can tell a storm is coming about 45 minutes early. Her ears will perk and the whining starts. She can be in her kennel or in the house.

When she’s out of her kennel, immediately she jumps on the couch and her head goes into my lap. She begs for ear rubbing and looks at me like we are going to die. Right now. She’s serious. Rub her ears because we are going to bite it.

T-minus 20 minutes to storm. Her butt starts to wiggle and she tries to put all 35 pounds of her directly onto my lap.

T-minus 10 minutes to storm. I hear a wailing like that of a banshee who has been caught by a death eater who has just been told this is his last snack and he must om nom nom before lethal injection.

T-minus 3 minutes and counting. She paces the floor like an expectant father while continuing to wail and look at me like I’m a jerk who won’t stop the weather. This includes me looking at her like her voicebox is optional in dogs.

Storm-time. She is back in my lap, shaking like a leaf while I croon to her and whisper all kinds of human soothing noises that dogs don’t understand because, according to my son, “Dogs don’t speak English.” After about 5 minutes, Molly is fine again because, “Oh, hey, it’s just a storm.”

The three tiny dogs are looking at her like, “The big dumb dog just got it, let’s go fight over our chewy!” and the world is again at peace in the house.

1am convenience store run

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . March 19, 2010 . 10:43AM

Last night, Bryan and I were watching movies and passing the time. Lately, there have been a lot of things on my mind and my insomnia has been flaring. Since Bryan also hates to sleep at night, we decided to watch funny movies and pass some hours until our vampiric sensibilities would let us sleep during daytime hours.

After two movies, we realized the error of our ways. We had zero Mountain Dew and no snacks. This called for a run to the Mapco at 1am. The minute the dogs heard me ask Bryan if he wanted to “go” they went nuts. Molly stood by the door, Prue smiled like a madman, and Sophie started running laps around the living room. Each was trying to prove that she was the dog to “go.” Reagan, thankfully, was upstairs sleeping in bed with AJ. Bryan and I watched Sophie lap for a good 5 minutes before we decided that they were all cute. I am such a freaking sucker for these dogs.

This was my mistake.

A large, huge, gigantic mistake. I’m a sucker and I need to stop that.

I loaded the dogs into the back seat and Bryan jumped into the passenger seat. The one thing about late night trips to the nearest Mapco is that the people are always super nice to me. The store is neat and clean and they have a nice amount of food and drink. They aren’t paying me to say that. I really adore that place.

As I was there, I found a pen that had an adorable little onion-headed guy on a pen. I had to get it for AJ. I don’t know why he would want an onion-headed guy on a pen. I just know he’ll love it. Bryan was already checked out and ready to go while I was still browsing at the fountain drinks.

In my quest to become the “best mom ever,” I grabbed a 12-pack of Krispy Kremes for breakfast. When I got to the counter, the sweet cashier looked at me and said, “You know, if you go grab the ones in the case, they are fresh AND they are cheaper.” Oh, lady. You have no idea what you’ve done. She had to void my entire transaction while the man in the business suit (at 1am) rang up his 6-pack and rolled his eyes at me. I picked out sprinkled and iced and chocolate and filled and glazed and you name it. Some little guy is gonna be a happy camper today. Yes he is. AND those donuts were cheaper. I had one when I got home. They were so fresh. I’m gonna buy that cashier a car when I win the lottery. Well, when I play the lottery to win the lottery.

This is where things went wrong. I went to put the purchases in the car and Sophie, Mrs. “let me go let me go let me go let me go”, decided that when my hands were full is definitely the right time to bolt from the car. The other two dogs sat and watched her like she was a rockstar. She went running into the parking lot while I glared at her and threatened her in a hushed tone. Things like “Oh, you are so gonna get it” and “you are the worst dog ever” came from my lips and she disappeared UNDER THE CAR.

Under the freaking dinking car.

I thought I might shake her.

Eventually she came running out like the coward she is and I tossed her into the back seat where the other dogs licked her and kissed her like she was a war hero.

Freaking dog worship.

We were happily on the way home when Prue did it. Prue has the worst gas of any dog I’ve ever known. The windows were up and the weather was chilly. Bryan and I were happy to have Sophie back in the car and be heading back to more comedy with our snacks. Prue let one that was so gross that I think I got sick in my mouth. I popped the windows down and scolded her.

Molly is the only good dog I own.

But I’ll probably let them all “go” again.

I’m a sucker.

You can’t handle the truth!

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 22, 2009 . 4:28PM

Dear Prudence

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 15, 2009 . 3:42PM

We have welcomed a new family member this weekend. We got her on Friday and I don’t know enough about her to write her up on the Hooligans page yet, but here she is. Introducing Prudence, also known as Prue!

Walking the dog

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 10, 2009 . 10:38AM

For the last several months, I’ve been “off my program.” My program had been eating good for me foods and losing weight. Unfortunately, I’d hit a plateau, and after a month of said plateau, I gave up the fight. It wasn’t a huge deal for me, but I wanted to keep moving forward on my loss. I hadn’t been motivated until Halloween. I saw my Halloween pictures and thought, “Man, I really wanted to be a Merlotte’s waitress this year.” Yes, Brandon would probably classify it as a slut costume, but I love True Blood and I really want to do homage to the show without being a vampire. When I looked at the costume though, I thought to myself, “Self, you clearly cannot wear that costume in your current condition. It’s about that time.” So, yes. I am going to get myself in shape for a Halloween costume. I don’t see that it’s any better or worse than anyone else’s excuse. Besides, I have been working on getting in shape for me for a long time. This is just the added motivation.

My YMCA card had dust on it, so I blew that sucker off and decided to get back to business. Over the weekend, I’d managed to get ‘er done (yes, I just said it-go on and disown me), but after the car fiasco, I knew there wouldn’t be time to workout. My fitness guru and very good friend, Mike, has been yoda-ing me in this go-round and he’d cautioned that I needed a recovery day for my body. So, I decided that a nice, leisurely walk with Reagan would do the trick.

I don’t play favorites with walking the dogs, it’s just that Sophie tuckers out after a block and Molly is so busy sniffing and marking territory that I’d never get anywhere if I took them. Reagan is built Ford-tough. She has tiny legs and some serious muscle in that little weiner dog body of hers. She went with me today for 35 minutes without complaint. We did have some adventures, though.

-We attacked every crunchy leaf in the vicinity of our walk. As the trees are letting them drop like crazy, this amounted to some serious attacks.

-A school bus full of children waved at us.

-Reagan whined at the school bus full of children because she knows that the school bus might mean AJ is there.

-When the bus went past with no AJ, she pouted, moped, and refused to jump on crunchy leaves until I was ahead of her crunchy leaf ratio 10:1.

-We went around a park and found a small stream that I didn’t know existed.

-A car drove past us with a little dog in it that so desperately wanted to make Reagan it’s “friend” that it almost jumped out the window. I watched as it slowly drove past with the dog hanging out the window and the owner laughing so hard he almost let go of the little dog.

-We saw some beautiful fall foliage.

-A LOOSE doberman came running after Reagan. Apparently my horns came out because I yelled at it “NO!” and “YOU GO HOME YOU VERY BAD DOG!” and it literally turned and ran with its tail between it’s legs. Wussy. I must have a fierce angry face. Don’t mess with anything I believe belongs to me. I will ruin you. I don’t care if you have teeth that can tear me apart. I look really mean when I’m mad. And if I see it again I will have no problem calling animal control and letting those people pay to get that dog back. Leash laws are there for a reason.

-Reagan gave me the biggest, happiest face when she saw the front yard. Dogs can grin, you know? We both got our fitness on.

Overall, my walk today was simply breathtaking. It helped remind me why fall is my favorite season. I hope that all of you are spending some time outside just enjoying the scents and beauty of this time of year. I want to take a second and thank Mike, one more time, for the time and effort he has been putting into me. My friendships mean a lot to me and he’s holding me accountable this time and it is what I needed. I’m one of those needy, hard to be friends with people because sarcasm is my defense mechanism, so it really is hard to put up with me on a regular basis. I’m also sensitive, so I take things the wrong way a lot. To be “in charge” of anything I’m doing, especially when I’m such a type-A, has got to be a pain in the butt, so thank you, again.