To my sister on her 16th birthday

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . April 26, 2012 . 5:15AM

Dear Sister,

Sixteen years is such a short time. Right now, it doesn’t seem like it because it’s all you’ve known, but I was exactly that age when you were born and I could probably, if I choose to, remember a time that there wasn’t a you in my world, but I don’t. Since there was a you, the way I think about life has changed and all of that in the context of having a you somewhere in it. Because of the you in my life, I am more inclined to view the world in a way that offers more potential than ever and more calamity than ever and in such, I have expanded the horizons of my ever.

Lately, sister, you and I have been talking and it occurs to me that we are going to have differences. It has always been me for you and you for me and our age difference has never bothered either of us because we love each other like cupcakes love icing and sprinkles. Tonight, you mentioned something to me and asked me to promise, prior to telling me, not to get mad at you and to not love you less.

Here’s a secret: I’ve been mad at you many times and they’ve only made me love you more.

Sisters are unlike any other love that I have experienced. I don’t know if this is true for others, Sister, but I know this is true for me. It’s not like the love I have for my son, though it is not less in love. It’s not like any love I have experienced with men in life, though it is not less in love. It’s not like the love I have for our mother. It is all encompassing, truly unconditional love that makes me want to be around you all the time but allow you to be free to grow up as an individual. It makes me want to tell you secrets, want to hear yours, and want to have you as a daily part of my life. When I pray, amongst the many things I am grateful for is the amazing, miracle of a sister who arrived in my life just in time to save me from some of the mistakes I could have made and who showed me love when I needed it the most.

Sister, never doubt that you are loved. Always, always, always loved. Never loved less because we disagree. Never loved less because I am profoundly thankful of the good things that you receive. I cannot imagine a world in which I exist that you do not, even though I’ve been there. I love you, Sister. Happy birthday.

Love,
Sister

He’s in a mood.

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . December 18, 2010 . 3:39PM

When AJ went to Illinois for Thanksgiving, he and his cousin Lola went to see the movie “Tangled.” While they were at the mall, they saw these mood rings that they just had to have. Now, I can understand Lola needing new jewelry. What 10-year-old-girl doesn’t believe she needs new jewelry? I wondered, however, why AJ was so insistent that he needed a mood ring?

The entirety of the Thanksgiving trip, AJ wore that mood ring around and carried his “mood chart” to inform us of his mood. “It’s red. I’m angry.” “Do you feel angry?” “No, but the ring is red. I must be angry.”

Well, ok then.

What you need to understand about this situation is that AJ is a sensitive, sentimental little guy, but he loses and breaks stuff on a regular basis. He doesn’t hold onto items and, chances are, if he gets something it will be gone within a week. This brings us to last weekend.

AJ had been feeling crummy and feverish so I said that he could sleep in my room so I could keep an eye on him. As his little eyes drifted off to sleep I looked at those little hands and noticed something blue on his index finger.

Yes, he certainly is lovable and he has managed to keep that ring on him or on his sink every single day. He finally has a sentimental object that means something to him. His mood ring reminds him of his time with his family in Illinois and Lola. Anyone that knows us knows that family is first and, for AJ, time there is everything. When he was sick, he wanted that ring on for comfort.

I don’t know when he’ll grow out of it, but hopefully he’ll have other comfort objects by then. For me, I’m just grateful to see that his comfort comes from his family. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Carson and the candy corn

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . December 3, 2010 . 11:36PM

Thanksgiving was ample opportunity for me to see my family in action. Holidays tend to brief out the best and worst in people, even the littlest ones. Perhaps the proper commentary on this is that the littlest ones recognize that, in the hub of activity among the adults, the opportunity for mischief is unbridled and they can get away with…well, anything. This past Thanksgiving was no exception and the littlest of my extended family were out in full force keeping the adults on their toes.

When people say it takes it a community to raise a child, they aren’t kidding. The main reason for this cliche being that children have the energy of ten adults at any given time and they can wear an adult down in the time it takes for one of them to throw an energizing temper tantrum. In a medium-sized home on a holiday, the nooks and crannies to hide in and do whatever your little heart desires are endless. Carson, my cousin’s son who is a new toddler, took this to full advantage.

It helps that when Carson smiles the adults in our family will give him whatever he wants.

During the day, each table in the house had a bowl of peanuts and candy corn resting upon it for guests to snack upon while waiting for a meal or recovering after a meal. There were plenty of these and they were refilled throughout the day. Carson discovered the bowls immediately upon entering the house and would sneak a tiny handful whenever no one was looking. At one point, my cousin Ashley noticed that something was wrong with Carson’s belly button.

It was orange.

He’d stuck a candy corn in there until he got hungry later.

He would climb chairs and adults would sneak him candy corn.

He would crawl under tables with a bowl of candy corn.

Nothing in life had ever tasted as good to him as candy corn.

Carson rarely even babbles. How did I know that he loved candy corn?

At the end of the evening, I watched him slyly walk over to the coffee table. His little eyes were shining and drawn to that bowl of orange. He pinched his fingers together and grasped a single candy corn and raised it to the sky in victory. A look of pure bliss crossed his face as he placed that candy corn in his mouth, closed his eyes and smiled as he chewed.

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a human being in such a state.

It was beautiful.

Yes, Carson loves candy corn.

We checked his belly button before he left.

We wanted to make sure there were no rogue candy pieces there.

Yes, there was a candy corn thief at my Thanksgiving celebration. And I am thankful for him.