I was going through my old journal entries and I found some that I decided Blueshelled.com would be remiss without. That, and I’m pretty lazy and I haven’t been writing enough lately. This one was from September of 2008.
Our life is like a sitcom:
*softly tinkling music in the background while Jillian and Leon watch a movie. Adrian is upstairs*
Jillian (looking up at Leon): I hear the ice cream truck.
Leon: Uh-huh (back to the movie)
…2 seconds later…
Adrian, from upstairs: ICCCCEEEE CRREEEAM TRUCCCCCK! *sounds of crashing and running legs going down stairs, the door flies open and we see a flash of red going out the front door*
Jillian (barely looking up): Give me a second to pull out my money.
blamestorming
(verb) : to gather and discuss who is to blame for a given failure
(noun) : a meeting held in order to come up with a name of a person to assign guilt to a certain incident
So, as I was saying, I was recently allowing my brain and my stomach to do some blamestorming and they have decided that THIS IS ALL MARTINA MCBRIDE’S FAULT. That’s right. That shameful woman placed a craving in my head for weeks that wouldn’t go away and I decided to just go ahead and stop it with the most effective means possible: fulfilling the craving.
Let me present you with the evidence. In Ms. McBride’s song, the effervescent, catchy girl-power filled tune, “This One’s For the Girls,” she states:
This is for all you girls, about twenty-five.
In little apartments just tryin’ to get by.
Livin’ on, on dreams and Spaghettios.
Wonderin’ where your life is gonna go.
Did you see it? Did you? The evidence is right there. Ms. McBride placed the idea of having them there, cotton-picken ‘Os in my head. And it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t.
So, as we walked through Walgreens the other day, lo and behold, the ‘Os were ON SALE. It was a sign from God as sure as he’d stood in front of me and passed me the ‘Os and blessed them Himself. I told my husband and son that they were for our son and placed them in the cart.
Honestly, I gave A.J. TWO WHOLE DAYS to eat them…while they were stashed away in a plastic sack in a cabinet. And, when he didn’t eat them, the heavens opened and I sucked those suckers down.
And then I paid.
Oh, I paid.
I’m so, so sorry. It wasn’t blessed by God. The sale sign was a TEMPTATION. Yes, yes it was, and so are Ms. McBride’s evil ways. Because, now that I’ve had the ‘Os, I’m mighty sorry.
As a child, I remember lovingly scooping these into my mouth and enjoying them greatly with no ill after-effects. That is NOT the case right now.
Your Honor, I’d like to request the harshest punishment possible for both the person who put the idea in my head, Ms. McBride, and the supplier, Walgreens. In the interest of the way society is, as a whole, I take no responsibility for eatin’ the ‘Os myself, as there was no warning on the label that those over the age of 18 should not consume these for fear of their bodies blowing up. Please don’t make me go into details about my pain and suffering. If you’d really like to know, the ‘Os are still on sale down at your local Walgreens and, boy, they sure are tasty.
For my part, I’m good at admitting when I’m wrong or ill-informed and I’ll be the first to say that I am not a greenie. I’m not. I recycle when I remember, I turn down plastic and paper bags when they aren’t necessary. I have my steel bottles for water, when my water doesn’t taste like leaves. However, it’s not an exaggeration when I say that my mind is nowhere close to being eco-friendly.
Before you tear me to pieces, which sounds reasonable enough, I’m sure, try to keep in mind that last semester (Spring 2009), I worked two part time jobs, that both require massive amounts of at-home work as well, and did several hours in a doctoral program. Oh yeah, and I did the wife and mom thing, too. I’m not trying to be eco-unfriendly and I would hate for Captain Planet to show me the errors of my way. Many days, I’m too tired to know where to put the toilet paper, let alone where to put he empty water bottles.
So, when I find something that makes being eco-friendly easy, convenient and gives me pizza, I say, KUDOS to you, inventor. You have effectively saved me money on those oft-unavailable when needed paper plates. Take a look.
AJ: “Mom, can we get some shade over here? I’m really hot?” Me: “How would you like me to do that?” AJ: “I don’t know, but I’m really hot.” Me: “I tell you what, I can turn up the air, but that’s all I can do. I’m sorry I can’t turn off the sun for you.”
May 15, 2009
Last night, I’d broken down and had Leon get us some cookies to satisfy a minor craving I’d been having. We’d had them less than 24 hours and had hidden them from AJ because the only thing he likes more than cookies and cake is ice cream.
He went in the kitchen to find a spoon and lo and behold:
Messenger conversation:3:45pm
Me: He has already found the cookies. Amazing.
Leon: What? What was he looking for?
Me: A spoon. Even though they were right in front of his face. I’m telling you–he has cookie sixth sense.
May 16, 2009
We’d gotten up early for a Little League game that had, at the last minute, been canceled due to rain, but could possibly be rescheduled for later in the day. AJ was trying to decide which of the dogs I would bring to the game with me, as is normal for us.
Me: “I don’t know that I will bring any dog to the game. You don’t get to decide if I bring one because you don’t have to keep an eye on them during the game.”
AJ: (eyeing me closely and shrewdly) “You can always go back to bed.”
Life is like a game. We all have challenges, thoughts, opinions and beliefs. Often, it feels like something out there, life, karma, catty people, or blue shells (for the Kart lovers), seeks to bring us down. Luckily, we always get up. This is where I wear my heart on my sleeve and my foot in my mouth.
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I was going through my old journal entries and I found some that I decided Blueshelled.com would be remiss without. That, and I’m pretty lazy and I haven’t been writing enough lately. This one was from September of 2008. 
Life is like a game. We all have challenges, thoughts, opinions and beliefs. Often, it feels like something out there, life, karma, catty people, or blue shells (for the Kart lovers), seeks to bring us down. Luckily, we always get up. This is where I wear my heart on my sleeve and my foot in my mouth.
