The best Valentine for a tired mom

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . February 18, 2012 . 1:59AM

The last few weeks have been tiring. I’ve been working on a dissertation, my internship, my teaching job and quite a few other things. I haven’t spent as much time just relaxing and enjoying my family as I would like, but it hasn’t been terribly stressful, either. There just hasn’t been much free time. The one thing that I was capable of remembering was that one of AJ’s favorite holidays was coming. AJ will tell you that Christmas is his favorite (because he loves his extended family time and his presents) followed by Halloween (because candy and costumes are awesome). However, even since AJ was a little guy he has loved Valentine’s Day.

AJ has always had a tender heart. We have also always included AJ in the Valentine’s celebration. He’s not a fan of giving valentines to everyone, but when it comes to celebrating those he loves? It’s on. This year, we were looking forward to truly spending time together. He’d asked for flowers because, “I’ve never gotten flowers from anyone, Mama.” So, instead of flowers, he got a bamboo plant that he could grow on his own. He looks at it and whispers to it the way I do my daisy plant. I know. It’s odd. But I’m telling you, it’s the only plant I’ve kept alive and that little bit of daily encouragement helps it grow.

He also got a new baseball helmet with his name airbrushed on it. I had no idea this was such a big deal, but my little cousin Lola did it, too! I expected a gift from my husband, but I didn’t expect anything but a hug from my sweet little guy. Or maybe a card. Some years he’s done a card. At 6:07am, on Valentine’s Day (probably lucky he waited that long), I felt a little hand shaking my shoulder and flowers were thrust in my face along with a huge box of chocolates. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mama! I love you!”

I still haven’t stopped smiling. I took pictures of my flowers. We devoured chocolates together as a family. I told everyone I knew that my son thought of me. I found out, later, that he’d spent the money he’d gotten as a gift from his NeeNee to buy my presents. They were ever so much sweeter.

If you want to know how to get to someone’s heart, show pure love and no motivation for anything in return. AJ waits all year long to buy me flowers. Leon said that almost every time they go to the store that AJ asks to get me some. I’m a lucky mom.

I get Valentine’s Day every single minute of every single day that I get to spend with my son.

I can’t get that song out of my head!

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . September 16, 2010 . 12:19AM

Yesterday, AJ and I were sitting on the couch and I heard him singing. He loves to sing, but rarely does it in front of people. I remember when he was in the womb and he’d bounce to certain songs when they’d come on the radio. He’d kill me if he knew I was telling you his favorite song was “Lucky” by Britney Spears. No joke. The kid would bounce like a fiend when it came on, as it was popular at the time, and you could see the outline of two little fists coming out of my stomach like little Alien movie wannabes. It was both frightening and exhilarating for me as a mother-to-be to recognize that my son had a personality even at that stage.

I’m really glad he has no idea where this blog is, nor does he read it, or he’d likely never speak to me again for telling you what I just told you.

Anyway, the boy loves music. He’ll sing in front of people when we play Rock Band but only because it’s “for the music.” I told you he has personality. When I tell people my kid is cool they don’t really believe me and they don’t really understand until they meet him and realize that he actually does seem to process things differently than other kids his age. There’s a 36-year-old hair band member in that 9-year-old body. At 3, his favorite song was by Bon Jovi.

I digress, I digress. I have no idea why anyone reads this blog because all I do is digress. I’ve turned into my 80-something grandmother.

So, AJ loves music. Yes, that was like 4 paragraphs ago. Get off my lawn. I heard him humming on the couch. Wait, that’s not true. It wasn’t just humming. It was full out song. “She’ll be coming round the mountain when she commmmmmmmmmmes, when she comes. She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes.” I’m sure they learned the whole song. This was the part that was stuck in his head, though. For an hour I heard this until finally I looked at him, made sure he saw me, gave him my most charming grin and sang loudly, “She’ll be coming round the mountain, she’ll be coming round the mountain, she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes!”

He couldn’t stop laughing. The giggles overtook him, then me. We laughed loud and long together. He gasped at me, “Ma-Ma-Mama, I couldn’t help it! It just got stuck in my head and wouldn’t go away!” We sang it a couple more times and laughed louder and longer. We often sing together in the car. Lately it’s been songs from Glee. Yesterday it was songs from elementary school.

Now if I can just get the theme song for Veronica Mars out of my own head, I’ll be set.

Solitude denied

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . August 12, 2010 . 2:22PM

Every now and then I tend to forget that my blog isn’t solely my blog. There are many of the most amazing people I’ve ever met or never met that stick their head onto this little piece of my soul and nibble on whatever I put out there to taste for flavor. Sometimes what is on the plate is delicious and insightful and leaves them happy, and hopeful and better for spending their time searching for nourishment among the many places they could look for that little something extra in their lives…however their lives may be. Sometimes…frankly it’s just leftovers. Some crust. A leftover thought that may have been worth sharing and building upon but something in my life has blocked it from my elaboration or my heartfelt need to push forward upon it and so I lay it on the plate and hope that somewhere they can see that there was love but the love was either so raw that it couldn’t be elaborated upon or it was just…enough.

And sometimes…we don’t need more than that. Sometimes, as people, we just need enough. So for today, I offer you my enough. Each of you makes me smile, think and realize things about myself that I would not otherwise realize. Thank you for enough.