At the time, I remember watching the news and feeling sickened and repulsed. I’d watch Gary Condit on television and felt like he knew more than he was telling. He was cleared of all involvement and that should make me feel better about the situation, but recently, the case was tied up in a neat little bow and something still feels too neat. In fact, when Condit was cleared of charges, you could almost predict that an illegal immigrant would be found to have been at fault and Condit wouldn’t have anything to do with it, right?

Strange how that worked out. Levy’s remains were found in 2002 and a cellmate stated that Ingmar Guandique, in prison for something else, admitted to Condit paying him to kill Levy. He was recently convicted…however, the charges against Condit were ruled out.

Because no man has ever paid to have his mistress offed…especially a man in high power who was up for re-election. Condit even refused to admit his affair with Levy though his sperm DNA were found on her undergarments in her apartment.

I don’t know if Condit had anything to do with Levy’s murder, but the bottom line is that he’s kept mum for almost 10 years and I suspect he’ll continue to do so. It’s very Clinton-esque to deny, deny, deny, right? Either he truly had nothing to do with her murder and he’s innocent or he’s paid off the right people. The one thing I know about this is that it’s a stereotypical ending and when things are this open and shut, it’s rarely that easy.

We may never know what happened to Chandra Levy or why. Was it really just a robbery gone wrong? Did she get involved with the wrong man? Both? The only thing I know is that I’m still not buying what Gary Condit is selling and I don’t know why I can’t get over it. The prosecutors in this case “overcame a lack of any scientific evidence.” Why doesn’t that reassure me? This man could face life in prison with no parole. If he’s guilty, he deserves far worse. If he’s innocent? And if he’s guilty and was hired? Does the man who hired him deserve nothing?

This holiday season may her family have some peace that someone is paying for her death. I hope that it is the right person.

Those in my life that know me best know that I’m generally quite apathetic on most issues and due to my profession, I support people as to their decisions. With that said, I am adamantly pro-life for many personal reasons and many well thought out ones. As a humanist, a scientist, a mother, a woman, a friend, a social science major and someone who cares deeply for others…I can be nothing else.

My husband wrote a post today, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. I’m linking it here. My personal whys will remain unsaid… Sometimes it is better that way.

In Memoriam

When I initially heard about this program, the skeptic inside of me smirked and thought “what kind of ghetto wannabe is gonna give up their piece to go see some lions, and tigers and elephants?”

I got mine.

Apparently, A LOT. The program was a HUGE success. And when I say huge success, I mean 84 guns were collected, and 420 tickets were distributed.

The Care for the Kids gun drive took 84 guns out of commission in Nashville. As a citizen, I’m thankful. As a mother, I’m elated. There are plans to do this in other communities and to possibly do it again in Nashville.

My initial skepticism didn’t account for the number of family members who would bring in guns to get them out of their homes. Many of the folks that brought them in were people that were housing people who carried these guns. I don’t know what crimes were prevented by this action. But I know that there are 84+ potential news stories that I don’t have to worry about seeing on the News.

I can’t wait for the circus to come to town again. I wonder what other incentives we could use to decrease violence in our communities. The creativity and ingenuity of others astounds me. Never underestimate the power of simple pleasures.

I am choosing to focus on raw talent and the way that his music and lyrics connect with me, which is what I always do here. I’m an energy type person and the energy that I feel when I hear the music is something pervasive. I have found a particularly touching version of Man in the Mirror, which is one of the first songs that I can remember.

I know that you are saturated with this material. You are tired of hearing about Michael Jackson. You are looking for relief from the news and his pictures. I want to ask you to give Jay Brannan a chance because this is a truly beautiful cover of this song. While I was listening to it, my 8-year old son, A.J., came up to me and said, “Mama, that man has a beautiful voice.”

He sure does.

The music and how it makes you feel is what matters. Let everything else go because it’s done now. Please forgive me for adding to the noise. This is too beautiful NOT to share. I hope that you enjoy it the way I did. It’s not my favorite MJ song (Smooth Criminal, anyone?), but Jay nails this one. Please enjoy. And then let go, and be at peace and with happiness, and focus on the things that matter in your life. Thanks to each one of you for being a part of mine.

It broke my heart. The only thing that kept me from bawling my eyes out was that I am expected to keep professional decorum in the classroom. Little boys, aged 9 according to the narrative, were placed on opposite sides of a make-shift ring (on a basketball court) and held back by older boys. They were then told to go at each other and chided when they didn’t. I was watching these babies beat the crud out of each other and, with every hit, I felt a piece of my heart die. At the end of the fight, when an older boy gleefully proclaimed “Knock out!” and one 9-year old jumped up and down and the other cried his little boy eyes out, I felt physically ill. The loser was then heckled for not being stronger and tougher. He was slumped in a corner and was hurting and all I could see was my 8-year old’s face and build in this little guy.

He was just a little guy.

I understand that they are teaching them adaptive skills for where they are living. It kills me that they have to do so.

He’s just a little guy.

When A.J. skins his knee, he winces and I want to hold him. This little one got punched and kicked and beat down. I cannot imagine what his life is like.

Life isn’t fair. It just isn’t. Boys are growing too fast in these areas. They are being groomed for a life that is so far beyond what they should have to deal with and what they are capable of handling. Maybe I need to grow a thicker skin and face reality because I suppose that I’ve been naive as to what is happening out in the world. There is a part of me that wants to save them them all. The realist in me realizes I can’t. It’s a helpless feeling.

He’s just a little guy…

What I love about this video is the playful aspect of these wild lions. At the same time, I kept waiting for “the hitch.” By that, I suppose I mean the moment where the cuddly lions would become blood thirsty beasts and rip the man’s head off.

I think I’ve become something of a cynic.

A fertility doctor, located in the Middle East, by the name of Panayiotis Zavros, took the blood from a dead child and claims that he created cloned embryos of her and implanted them in the wombs of four different women. The Daily Mail article notes that Zavros has made these claims before and has said that the first human clone could be conceived within the next year. You can read the article to get more information on his process and procedure. In essence, Cady, the girl’s mother, gave the doctor the blood in order to give Cady a “biological presence” in the world.

Ok, deep breath here.

As a mom, there are many things I know. The first being that if anything ever happened to my child, I would be crushed beyond belief and that I would do just about anything to get him back. Likely, I wouldn’t be thinking rationally and I might have the same irrational thought that by cloning my child and having his physical DNA in the world, my son would be “back.” However, here’s the other thing I know: we are products of both our genetics and our experiences. Whatever child came into this word would be genetically Cady, but experientially, she would not be the same child. She wouldn’t. And that child would not be born to Cady’s “real mom” and therefore, that biological presence wouldn’t be hers either. She would lose the very things that make motherhood what it is: That sense of possessiveness and joy as that individual goes out into the world with what you have helped give them to grow and learn.

Would I want him back? Of course I would. Would I want someone else to have my A.J.? Not a chance. Would he really be my A.J.? No. He really wouldn’t.

The ethical questions swirl: Should human cloning be allowed? Should human embryos be used? Should children be “resurrected” by use of their blood or adult skin cells at the whims of their grieving parents? Should doctors be allowed to perform these procedures? Is this particular doctor taking advantage of parents who are not yet done mourning the loss of their daughter? There are some that believe Zavros should be jailed for his tampering with human DNA.

What do you believe?

I have friends that laugh and remind me of my naivete about once a week. It’s true that I’m a 20-(mrph) year old woman, but I don’t think I’m naive for going with the best in people. I have experiences in my life that I don’t talk about here or in the offline world. I have personal scars and things that have wounded and hurt me. I’m not a Pollyanna and I’m not an eternal optimist. I work at seeing the good in things. And it’s hard. But it’s worth it.

With that being said, I also think Karma rocks. Back in May I wrote an article based on something my friend Rsmcain said: If you want to get visitors, throw other bloggers a bone. He didn’t put it that delicately, but as a Southern woman (I know better than to call myself a lady), I think I’ll just leave it how I wrote it.

Because I’m a new blogger, I spend a lot of time looking at other blogs. Lately, it’s because I’m bored with the design of mine and am looking to poach a designer (not a design) from someone and get myself a handy, dandy new style. It’s also because I might find some new widget or gadget that they have, or a new setup or some new inspiration that I might build on. Ultimately, I’m an introvert and I like making friends through the internet. It’s less messy that way, isn’t it?

While looking around, I noticed an interesting button on someone’s blog. It said: “I’m very nice.” And I thought, “You are? How very presumptuous of you to think you are nice!” However, then I immediately thought “I want one, too! I’m very nice. I must have that button so others know I’m nice, too!”

When I clicked on the button, it took me to an orange and black site that was, for a kindness junkie, the mecca of all that is good. It’s called “Operation Nice: Encouraging Individuals to be Proactively Nice.” The goal is pretty self-explanatory in encouraging others to do just a little bit every day to make the day of another person a more worthwhile, fulfilling experience.

On Operation Nice, you can share personal stories of kindness, nominate people that you know that exhibit kindness as the “Kind Person of the Week,” get a blog button for your site telling everyone how nice you are (YES!!!), as well as download your own gratitude notes for those that have done something nice for you in your life (freebies are awesome!).

The site is very nicely put together and is a new one that I will definitely be adding to my reader. Take a look and join the mission. You’ll be glad you did.

In this story, the poky little puppy wandered to another land, far, far away. A place where puppies aren’t safe. A place called South Korea. And in this place, the Poky little puppy had his DNA cloned and merged with genes similar to those of a sea anemone, which is an underwater creature. This was done by a scientist who said that he was was doing it to produce a puppy that, because of a long lifespan, might help cure human illness. However, what this merging did was TURN THE PUPPY INTO A GLOWSTICK!!!!

For comparison: The glowstick

Glowstick 1.0

The puppy:

Poky puppy 2.0

Please, enlighten me?

Before you tear me to pieces, which sounds reasonable enough, I’m sure, try to keep in mind that last semester (Spring 2009), I worked two part time jobs, that both require massive amounts of at-home work as well, and did several hours in a doctoral program. Oh yeah, and I did the wife and mom thing, too. I’m not trying to be eco-unfriendly and I would hate for Captain Planet to show me the errors of my way. Many days, I’m too tired to know where to put the toilet paper, let alone where to put he empty water bottles.

So, when I find something that makes being eco-friendly easy, convenient and gives me pizza, I say, KUDOS to you, inventor. You have effectively saved me money on those oft-unavailable when needed paper plates. Take a look.

Well? What do you think?

Recently, there was a fantastic discussion on my blog about what happens to cadavers when they are donated to science. Many ethical questions were explored and I’m still bouncing the final thoughts around in my mind. I enjoy well-presented debates a great deal and have had this one on my mind. Because of it, I was googling around (googling around sounds much naughtier than it is) and found the Lifegem website.

Initially, I was as repelled by the idea brought forth in this website as I would be by the thought of wearing 6 inch heels and running a marathon. My initial take on Lifegem is that it is a website that offers to take the carbon from the cremated ashes of your loved one and make it in to a sparkling diamond that you can then wear in jewelry. This allows you both closure and the ability to wear your loved one and keep them with you until you die and then, HEY! Maybe your next of kin will make you into a sparkler!

Look, I never said my empathy extended into what I consider hairbrained ideas.

And yet, the further I read into the website, the more this seems like a decent, feasible idea to me. When people are grieving, memories are so terribly important and if they can afford this, why should it bother me? As I continued to read, the key aspect that changed my opinion was that, in order to create the diamond, they don’t have to use ashes, rather they can use hair from your loved one. Heck, your loved one doesn’t even have to be dead! If you are a stalker and have your “loved one’s” hairbrush, as long as you have the equivilent of 8oz worth of hair (a typical men’s haircut worth), you’ve got enough to create a piece of jewelry.

Personally, the more I think about this, the more I think that it isn’t any different than getting a tattoo or a painting to memorialize a lost loved one. The ashes part creeped me out because the idea of someone possibly cremating someone they love against that person’s wishes just to create jewelry from their remains is a little abnormal for me, however, I think that is an extreme thought as opposed to the “norm” for this situation.

What do you think? Beautiful memory keeper or creepy sparkly no-no?

The controversy over the practice is that the bodies, once turned over to science, have no guarantees as to what type of “science” they will be used to test. Many people make the assumption that the body will go towards the furthering of medical students education, some kind of cancer/terminal illness research or something that the deem equally changing for all of humanity. The idea that their loved one could end up further broken due to testing car standards has people appalled and angry.

My opposition to this stems from all of those ideas as well as the idea of desecration of a person once they are gone. We have other means of testing these vehicles and we use them. If a person knows that their body is going to this purpose, I believe that is one idea that is fine. If they have no idea that they will be further used to this extent, it opens a whole other can of worms.

What are your thoughts? If this was your loved one and you had donated their body to science, would you be ok with the practice?

The focus of the show was on a program called “Puppies behind Bars.” The program gives puppies to inmates in prison and has them train dogs to be service dogs for disabled, handicapped and ex-servicemen from the military who have needs. The show focused on how the dogs change both the lives of the prisoners and the lives of the servicemen for the better.

Now, I have no problem showing emotion, but I was doing everything could to hold it together for this one because if I let it start, it wasn’t going to stop. Dogs are special to me because I know what they can do to heal someone’s spirit. I’ve long considered using my dogs in therapy and it may yet happen. To watch these incarcerated men, some for violent crime, break down and weep because of these dogs, was heart-wrenching. To see someone with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder slowly healing with the help of a dog was humbling. We all want unconditional love, don’t we?

Claudio Vitale is an Italian brain surgeon who has recently made headlines after exhibiting extreme bravery in his field: he completed brain surgery while having a heart attack. Why is this a big deal?

As a surgeon, Vitale was aware that he was having a heart attack and that for every minute he delayed his own help, a part of his heart was losing function that would not be restored. In other words, he was killing himself to save his patient. His only comment was that he couldn’t leave the patient at such a delicate time (in the procedure). Other stories have commented that if he’d left the patient, the patient would have surely died.

So, let’s break it down. Vitale was dying. The patient was dying. Vitale saved the patient at loss of his own heart functioning permanently.

Amazing courage. I’m in awe of this man. I want to believe that I would do the same for people, but I’m not sure I’m there yet. Regardless, he’s tugged on my heartstrings and some days I need to be reminded of the humanity of the world we live in.