And now for something serious…

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . January 22, 2010 . 9:06AM

There are many things in my life that I am passionate about that I don’t take the time to write about here. It isn’t that I don’t care enough, it’s that I understand and am aware that my passions are not the passions of everyone. And I also know that when people are strongly polarized, the reasons of one’s heart are often not enough to sway one another. However, there are times that not saying anything is akin to agreement and I feel like I cannot let this subject be one in which there is any doubt as to how I feel.

Those in my life that know me best know that I’m generally quite apathetic on most issues and due to my profession, I support people as to their decisions. With that said, I am adamantly pro-life for many personal reasons and many well thought out ones. As a humanist, a scientist, a mother, a woman, a friend, a social science major and someone who cares deeply for others…I can be nothing else.

My husband wrote a post today, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. I’m linking it here. My personal whys will remain unsaid… Sometimes it is better that way.

In Memoriam

Chicago White Sox fans are rude

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . September 15, 2009 . 1:44PM

While I’m aware that my title is antagonistic and I’m setting myself up for trolls, I would be remiss if I lied about my experience at the U.S. Cellular field. I’m also aware that most of our experiences are made up of our perceptions, so I’m going to make the rudeness short and then tell you about the great experience I had with my family on Labor Day weekend.

Leon is a huge Boston Red Sox fan. When I met him, he loved the Mets, but I watched him slowly start to root for the underdogs in the league, the Red Sox. When they won the World Series, I don’t doubt for a minute that it was one of the best days of his life. He’d never been able to see them play in person and, on Labor Day weekend, it was going to be a Sox vs. Sox showdown in Chicago. Chicago is only 8 hours from us and only 3 hours from my family. It seemed like a no-brainer to swing by, grab them, and make a family weekend of Labor Day weekend.

As it was only a week before my 30th birthday, there was time for some birthday celebration in there, as well, so my mom and sister were more than down for the trip. We stayed at the Hyatt, in a beautiful room. There were some snafus with the room, which I’ll address later in this blog, but, for the most part, our trip was snag free. Leon decided to go to the game early to see if he could get some autographs and watch batting practice.

What he didn’t know was that, since he had seats in the upper level, security wouldn’t let him down to get close to the players. Papi (Ortiz) was signing autographs and did this for almost 20 minutes solid while Leon had to watch and be sad that he’d gone with the upper level seats. It was pathetic.

You’d think the upper level seats would be poor viewing seats, but they were actually awesome. We were under the shade and the wind was blowing nicely. It was about 71 degrees, give or take, and most of the Red Sox fans were in the upper deck.

Unfortunately, there were also a lot of drunk White Sox fans who made it a point to yell not only at the players, but at the Red Sox fans with a belligerence that was unmatched. One comment we heard from a child was “Take the needle out of your arm, Ortiz!” and from his father, “They didn’t test for ‘roids in 2004!” I was overwhelmed.

When the Red Sox fans would start to chant, the White Sox fans would shout “White” over the “Red” every time. When we’d clap, they’d boo. Frankly, I was a little shocked by the poor behavior. It didn’t take over the game, however. There were some key moments that I won’t forget that were noteworthy here.

At our second game, there was a father that sat in front of us. He didn’t stop smiling for the first five innings and, when he sat down, he proudly announced to the people next to him, that it was his little girl’s first ever White Sox game. She was three and wearing an adorable pink tutu White Sox outfit. She grinned throughout the game and managed to keep her eyes totally off the field. She would look at the people around her and ask their names. Her dad was so proud to have her there that I thought his face would crack. Of course, it was such a Hallmark moment that my baby heart almost teared up and bawled right there. Stupid emotions.

There was also the Russian that sat next to us. We were on the very top row of the stadium during our first game there. This man often spoke to his companions and we had no idea what he was saying, but every now and then, you would hear him yell, “YOOOOOOOOOUUUUKKKK!” (chanting for first baseman Kevin Youkilis) or “Go, Red Sox” in heavily accented voice. When they would do well, he would cheer loudly.

After the game, even when the Red Sox lost, the sense of camaraderie was strong. AJ was wearing his shirt, as was Leon, and a couple that we didn’t know came up to him and gave him the thumbs up. He was confused by this, as 8-year olds know better than to talk to strangers, but he understood that when you root for a team, you are part of a new club.

Overall, yes, the White Sox fans could have behaved better. I’m pretty sure I was spit upon at least twice, but I’m going to give the old woman behind me the benefit of the doubt that she just has trouble controlling her spit. The best part of my experience was being with my family and even if I didn’t enjoy the stadium, I was glad for the chance to be with them.

Thanks to Ellie at Practically Sisters for fixing my photograph!

Guns for Circus Tickets: The Nashville Incentive

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . August 13, 2009 . 12:41PM

Back in July, a Nashville church offered an interesting incentive to people in the area to decrease violence: bring in your guns and for every gun you turn in, we’ll give you 5 free tickets to see a circus that is coming to town.

When I initially heard about this program, the skeptic inside of me smirked and thought “what kind of ghetto wannabe is gonna give up their piece to go see some lions, and tigers and elephants?”

I got mine.

Apparently, A LOT. The program was a HUGE success. And when I say huge success, I mean 84 guns were collected, and 420 tickets were distributed.

The Care for the Kids gun drive took 84 guns out of commission in Nashville. As a citizen, I’m thankful. As a mother, I’m elated. There are plans to do this in other communities and to possibly do it again in Nashville.

My initial skepticism didn’t account for the number of family members who would bring in guns to get them out of their homes. Many of the folks that brought them in were people that were housing people who carried these guns. I don’t know what crimes were prevented by this action. But I know that there are 84+ potential news stories that I don’t have to worry about seeing on the News.

I can’t wait for the circus to come to town again. I wonder what other incentives we could use to decrease violence in our communities. The creativity and ingenuity of others astounds me. Never underestimate the power of simple pleasures.

Boys are growing up too fast

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . June 26, 2009 . 1:29PM

The other night, in my Gender Roles class, we watched the documentary “Raising Cain.” Overall, it was an informative and thought-provoking film about boys and I highly recommend it for anyone who has a boy, who works with boys or who might do one or both someday. While I was watching it, there was a section of film that focused on how boys are primed to be fighters in poverty-ridden sections of the country.

It broke my heart. The only thing that kept me from bawling my eyes out was that I am expected to keep professional decorum in the classroom. Little boys, aged 9 according to the narrative, were placed on opposite sides of a make-shift ring (on a basketball court) and held back by older boys. They were then told to go at each other and chided when they didn’t. I was watching these babies beat the crud out of each other and, with every hit, I felt a piece of my heart die. At the end of the fight, when an older boy gleefully proclaimed “Knock out!” and one 9-year old jumped up and down and the other cried his little boy eyes out, I felt physically ill. The loser was then heckled for not being stronger and tougher. He was slumped in a corner and was hurting and all I could see was my 8-year old’s face and build in this little guy.

He was just a little guy.

I understand that they are teaching them adaptive skills for where they are living. It kills me that they have to do so.

He’s just a little guy.

When A.J. skins his knee, he winces and I want to hold him. This little one got punched and kicked and beat down. I cannot imagine what his life is like.

Life isn’t fair. It just isn’t. Boys are growing too fast in these areas. They are being groomed for a life that is so far beyond what they should have to deal with and what they are capable of handling. Maybe I need to grow a thicker skin and face reality because I suppose that I’ve been naive as to what is happening out in the world. There is a part of me that wants to save them them all. The realist in me realizes I can’t. It’s a helpless feeling.

He’s just a little guy…

In the end, only kindness matters: Operation Nice

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . June 9, 2009 . 1:11PM

Jewel’s song “Hands” is one of my favorites because of the line, “In the end, only kindness matters.” If you’ve been around here for a while, you probably know that kindness is, well, pretty important to me. No, I don’t always follow thru with being kind, but nobody does. I try and I think I get some brownie points for that. The key here is that I think, regardless of any religious or spiritual or naturalistic beliefs, that Jewel was right: No matter what you believe, Kindness is going to be important in where you go and what you do.

I have friends that laugh and remind me of my naivete about once a week. It’s true that I’m a 20-(mrph) year old woman, but I don’t think I’m naive for going with the best in people. I have experiences in my life that I don’t talk about here or in the offline world. I have personal scars and things that have wounded and hurt me. I’m not a Pollyanna and I’m not an eternal optimist. I work at seeing the good in things. And it’s hard. But it’s worth it.

With that being said, I also think Karma rocks. Back in May I wrote an article based on something my friend Rsmcain said: If you want to get visitors, throw other bloggers a bone. He didn’t put it that delicately, but as a Southern woman (I know better than to call myself a lady), I think I’ll just leave it how I wrote it.

Because I’m a new blogger, I spend a lot of time looking at other blogs. Lately, it’s because I’m bored with the design of mine and am looking to poach a designer (not a design) from someone and get myself a handy, dandy new style. It’s also because I might find some new widget or gadget that they have, or a new setup or some new inspiration that I might build on. Ultimately, I’m an introvert and I like making friends through the internet. It’s less messy that way, isn’t it?

While looking around, I noticed an interesting button on someone’s blog. It said: “I’m very nice.” And I thought, “You are? How very presumptuous of you to think you are nice!” However, then I immediately thought “I want one, too! I’m very nice. I must have that button so others know I’m nice, too!”

When I clicked on the button, it took me to an orange and black site that was, for a kindness junkie, the mecca of all that is good. It’s called “Operation Nice: Encouraging Individuals to be Proactively Nice.” The goal is pretty self-explanatory in encouraging others to do just a little bit every day to make the day of another person a more worthwhile, fulfilling experience.

On Operation Nice, you can share personal stories of kindness, nominate people that you know that exhibit kindness as the “Kind Person of the Week,” get a blog button for your site telling everyone how nice you are (YES!!!), as well as download your own gratitude notes for those that have done something nice for you in your life (freebies are awesome!).

The site is very nicely put together and is a new one that I will definitely be adding to my reader. Take a look and join the mission. You’ll be glad you did.