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Talking in bed: Or what he endures
by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . August 12, 2009 . 1:21PM
After almost 10 years of marriage, there are some unspoken, well-established events that occur in our home that just happen without us having to discuss them. I’m sure this is true for most couples, but I think I lean towards the quirky, just a little bit, and Leon endures the quirky side because it makes him laugh. Even when he’s exhausted.
For the duration of the marriage, he and I have always been on different schedules. I’m a night owl who can often be found doing homework or catching up on hobbies, like writing my blogs, at 3am. He is a morning person who dislikes waking up after 10am and often wants to be asleep by 11pm. Every single night he is asked “Why do you have to do that sleep thing? Hang out with me!!!” Because, really, who wouldn’t rather hang out with their wife than catch up on some zzzz’s, right?
So, as we are on different schedules and Leon’s job often requires that he work at home, as well as work, I often feel bereft that we haven’t had enough time to truly connect during the day. As such, when I get to bed, I’ll poke his shoulder.
You read that right. I purposely wake him up. Then I grin the most cherubic grin ever and say, “Hi, Leon!” He will sleepily open one eye, grin a bewildered grin and say, “Hi, baby” and depending on how tired he is do one of two things 1/say “I’m sleepy” and attempt to go back to sleep or 2/give me a hug and humor my need for conversation for about 5 minutes before he’ll say “I’m sleepy” and go back to sleep.
What’s even funnier about this situation is that we can have full, deep, meaningful conversations in 5-minutes about topics that most couples won’t bridge in waking hours. And Leon might even remember them in the morning. And I will most likely get the truth without all that logical, analytical crap clouding his mind when he’s sleepy.
Before you start thinking mean and stingy thoughts about what a selfish, needy wife I am, I want to clarify that this is not a one-way street. My husband likes that connection as well.
I’m a night reader. I always have been. Since the age of 8 or so, my mom would give me a book and let me read until I could sleep. That habit has followed me and my insomniatic self since I was young (yes, I know it isn’t conducive to good sleep habits), so I often lay in bed reading for hours.
Leon will roll over, gently peek out to see if I’m there reading, and if I am and he wants to talk, I’ll know it because he’ll start rubbing my shoulder and I’ll hear “Hey, baby.”
No, we aren’t a conventional couple. But we connect on the important issues and we have fun doing it.
Excuse me, I need to go wake up my husband.
Life is like a game. We all have challenges, thoughts, opinions and beliefs. Often, it feels like something out there, life, karma, catty people, or blue shells (for the Kart lovers), seeks to bring us down. Luckily, we always get up. This is where I wear my heart on my sleeve and my foot in my mouth.
