Drinking and Driving

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 16, 2009 . 10:40AM

This is the post you don’t want to read if you are guilty. This is the post you don’t want to read if you don’t want to hear it. This is the post you don’t want to read if you think it’s just a soapbox.

This is the post that you should be reading regardless of all of those things because even if you don’t think it’s YOUR problem, it’s OUR problem and I’m seriously worn out by it. The only way to fix it is to pull together and collectively decide we’re done and that we are going to publicly shame and shun for this offense and quit letting people slide. The only way to help that is to create stronger messages. And, chances are, you know someone who has a problem with this and, chances are, you are shaking your head and getting ready to close the window on this post. Let me explain myself.

Before my 18th birthday, I’d lost several friends to drinking and driving. I’m not talking about people I’d heard of through the grapevine. I’m talking about living, breathing people. One was in the band with me. One could hug like you wouldn’t believe. One shyly told me in the 6th grade that he wouldn’t mind dating me at all (ah, 6th grad boys). One was the quiet guy in the corner that never said a word. Those are just a few. By my 21st birthday, the numbers went higher and higher.

Less than a month ago, I received word that a boy from my hometown was killed. He was adamantly against drinking and driving and involved in some of the same groups that opposed it that I was involved with in high school. This 19 year old was also the nephew of my junior high best friend, so I’d spent a lot of time with him in his younger years. He’d had many health issues and struggled so much just to have a normal life. What I remember most about him, at that age, were these gorgeous, huge eyes that stared at me, and a beautiful smile that wouldn’t quit.

By all accounts, this boy turned into a young man, was succeeding in life. The man who hit him survived. The family is devastated. Shouldn’t they be? Wouldn’t you be?

If it were AJ…I don’t know that I could be rational.

So, when does it stop being acceptable? When do we stop allowing our friends to drive when they insist they are ok to drive? When do we push the cabs on them or make sure there is a DD before we serve them? I’ve never had a problem being DD being that I’m not a big drinker. Surely, I’m not the only one out there? Many restaurants offer to pay for cabs. Many bars do as well. How many of you would turn down someone if they called asking for a ride? So why isn’t this happening?

Why is it, when we find out someone has committed this offense, that we write it off as just another mistake? Is it not, and I’m going to say something extreme here, so please brace yourself, techincally attempted assault, at the very least? Attempted harm to another person? Suicide is illegal. At the very least, attempted harm to oneself? Attempted murder? What makes this any different from someone who actively goes after another person? Or someone who is going after multiple people wielding a weapon weighing over a ton? I’m aware they are charged with DUI, but it doesn’t feel like enough. Especially when many people are allowed to slide after multiple DUI’s for reasons such as knowing the judge in a small town.

Yes, I KNOW they think they are fine to drive and who are you to tell them they aren’t? They are impaired. It’s what alcohol does and why people like it so much. If it didn’t make people feel uninhibited, they wouldn’t drink it. Some people are fine to drive. Some people aren’t.

When do we stop giving them a free pass?

The mystery of make-up

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . October 13, 2009 . 2:27PM

The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.” — Yves Saint Laurent

Women wear makeup for other women. It’s true and it’s not a secret. I’ve said it before, here in this blog. Men, it may come as a surprise for you and a small blow to your ego, but we aren’t competing with you, are we? We’re competing for you and your attention. For those married folks, we’re competing to keep what we’ve got or gain something new. For those who are single, they are shopping their options and the goal is to be the prettiest peacock on the block.

Over the summer, a friend of mine in my program at school, Susan (Not her name), mentioned to me that she thinks I’m beautiful. I mentioned to her that I’d pay her to say it all day long. She laughed and said that because I’m a white woman, and a large woman, that she gets it. And I think she does. I’ll talk more about this tomorrow. She stated that she noticed that I have more confidence on the days that I wear makeup and the days that I do my hair (instead of my favored ponytails) and pop some earrings in or wear jewelry. Adorning my face gives me confidence.

“She has such a pretty face, if only she’d do something about that body.”

Fair enough. Last week, I tested it. True to form, I get a different reaction from people when I “do my face.” Either, I’m projecting more confidence or I’m looking good and it gets a different reaction. I’m assuming it’s a little of both, but more the latter. Research has shown that attractive people tend to get more favorable reviews when asked how they are viewed by observers. We like pretty people. There is a reason the cosmetics corporations make billions of dollars.

Women want to look good and they like the way people respond.

I liked the way people responded to me last week. They were quick to meet my needs. They were complimentary. They were interested. It conditioned my response. I spent a good 20 extra minutes a day on hair and make-up. What? I’m still low-maintenance. You can’t pay me to spend more time than that on looking good.

You should see the responses I get when I don’t wear my wedding rings. That’s another post for another day.

Have any of you had similar experiences?

Call me! OOOOoooOO, call me, call me any, any time

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . October 4, 2009 . 3:32PM

Those of you that have been around forever, and some of you know you have and I love every single little inch of your being for it, remember that I had a number on here for a while that you could call and leave me a voicemail if you wanted to do so. I could never find a good spot for it on the site so I took it down.

I know.

I’m neurotic.

I’m very, very picky about how the site looks, which was especially important while doing the site redesign. Luckily, I had an angel for a designer, bless her sweet little heart.

My friend Natalie called me the other day and reminded me of how much I missed her voice when my eyes welled up after talking to her. Sometimes, it’s nice to hear a voice. I get your comments and I love all of them.

Except for the porn spammers who keep sending me things that make me question what kind of illegal drugs they are taking. Quit sending me that stuff.

Anyway, if you would like to call and leave me a message, please do. In fact, I’m begging you, leave me a message! Unless you are in prison. Then send me a comment. Or if you are the kind of person who does bad things to animals. Then you should probably read other blogs.

I have unlimited messages and I will listen to them over and over and over like a crazy cat lady.

You can call me on your phone at (615) 807-0376 or click on this button and you can use the microphone on your computer (if you have one) to leave me a message. If you have long distance charges, they may apply, but if you go through your computer, it’s free.

This isn’t my cell phone number, so I won’t ever answer, no matter how often you call it. But I’ll get your message and cherish it, I promise. Unless you leave crazy messages. Don’t do that. I won’t like it.

Are you having a good weekend? I hope so. Mine has been a rollercoaster, but the rain is softly falling outside and part of me is honestly considering going out in it to sit on the swing in my backyard and soak it in. Do you ever just want to do that?

The leaves are turning red, and the rain falls and the wind blows and I’m out there with it.

Edit: My friend, Neil, called and left me a message as Barack Obama that is HYSTERICAL. He asked me to post it because it was an awful lot of work. I don’t ever post things without permission. Have a listen: