She came and is wonderful and beautiful, sugar and spice and everything nice and just a little bit of spicy tortilla, because she wouldn’t be part of the group if she weren’t a little feisty, right? It’s easy to adore her and, for the most part, April’s pregnancy and labor went beautifully. Mom and baby are fine, Daddy is beaming and everything is happy. They are adjusting well to their new situation and those of us who waited for them to become a family can feel the love and watch them glow as they grow in their new life together.

However, sometimes challenges arise that threaten the happiness. They often do and they often will when you have a child. Some of them are under your control and some are not. Something has come up that April and Chris prepared for, but due to negligence, has fallen out of their hands. I want to draw your attention to Chris’s post where he explains this fully, but Baptist Hospital in Nashville, where they gave birth, is trying to steal from them. Yes, those are harsh words. This is a harsh situation. See, a deal is a deal and April and Chris made a deal with the hospital to pay them money for the labor and delivery up front. The hospital kept their money for 2 months prior to the birth of their child and then the hospital was supposed to offer them a discount on that labor and delivery. It is to ensure the hospital is paid in a timely manner and that if something were to happen to April and the baby prior to that date that they would still get some of their fees.

Again, this was a deal that they make with perspective parents as an incentive to give birth in their hospital and birthing babies is a lucrative practice. In a city like Nashville where there are 2 or 3 hospitals in a ten mile radius, where you give birth is important. You go to the place that you trust to take care of not only your child, but also mama and daddy. My understanding is that the care Chris, April and sweetpea received was wonderful while they were in the hospital. It is the shoddy way they are being treated now that is unfair and wrong.

The gist of the story is that April had false labor and instead of applying the money she had already paid to her labor and delivery and giving her the discount on that, which was the DEAL, which is what she had ALREADY PAID FOR, they put the money paid onto her bill for that evening. Now, the way I see it, the bill for the labor and delivery should already have been generated and marked PAID with that money and anything extra should have been billed later. If something happened and April did not give birth, then they would need to refund the money. It’s that simple. What is happening now is that Baptist is seeing a way to milk two young parents out of much needed funds and this is not just wrong, it’s bad business.

What I am asking from all of you is for your support for these two as well as what can they do in this situation? Can they report them to the better business bureau? Who should they talk to regarding this? Do they need a lawyer? What are their options? Any support you can offer would be greatly appreciated. If you have time to go read Chris’s blog and offer him support there, I know he and April would appreciate it so much.

What Baptist Hospital in Nashville is doing is not ok. A deal is a deal and you get what you PAY for, not what someone else decides you get. What awful customer service!

What Happened to Hannah by Mary Kay McComas is the story of what can happen when we allow ourselves to let our guard down and try to move beyond our past hurts. More so, it is a story of what happens when we forgive ourselves and allow ourselves the understanding of the people around us and why they make the choices they do. What Hannah discovers about mercy, compassion and love will fill your spirit as well.

As a character, Hannah is endlessly complex and completely frustrating. The entire book is spent talking her down from a ledge of her own making. But isn’t this what we all do? We spend so much time making up drama in our heads and then dealing with the upset from that that the real life issues we have are minuscule in comparison. Hannah moves through the story keeping secrets not only from the other characters, but from us, the readers. It was frustrating to have a clear understanding of why she was doing what she was doing until the end of the book, but the tension was not altogether unpleasant.

Other characters in the novel were pleasantly involved, but I found Grady to be a little too supportive. He showed so little emotion and the end felt inauthentic. I wanted more of Grady’s story and to know what Grady was doing when he was going home at night. Or what he was thinking, feeling or doing at work. How was Hannah’s pulling away really affecting him? There is a little of this in there, but I could have used more insight into both him and Anna.

Out of all of the characters, Biscuit was probably my favorite and I can’t tell you why without giving away some key details of the novel. If you read it, just know that I appreciate his wisdom beyond his age and his ability to truly see people as they are. I enjoyed the addition of Biscuit to the novel.

What Happened to Hannah is not a difficult read, though it may be for those that have abuse in their histories. The story is an interesting one, though there were some turns that I would have expected to be explored more fully (Jim). Either way, this is one that is a take it or leave it, but if I had the choice again, I’d probably take it.

Note: I was given a free copy of this novel in order to review it. Thank you for allowing me to share my opinion.

It is in the midst of this joy that we find Ella. She has been through one bad marriage and has found her way to Joe and the children she could never have. They have settled in Elbow, in Northern California, surrounded by the forests and water. Joe has a hobby of photography and chooses to go out and take pictures of the waves one particularly windy morning. He does not return. The aftermath of his loss is where we find The Underside of Joy by Sere Prince Halverson.

On the day of Joe’s funeral, his ex-wife, long gone, has returned. Ella has already lost Joe and now she is faced with the possibility of losing everything she has left. The business he ran is failing, his children are learning to appreciate his ex-wife (and their biological mother) and Ella is slowly estranging from Joe’s family. Will she have anything left as her own when it is finished? What will she learn about herself and the nature of all encompassing love? Will she be able to forgive Joe his trespasses against all of them as he kept his secrets and his weaknesses from her to keep them in their own personal romance?

The Underside of Joy is, at heart, a love story. However, it in non-traditional in the sense that we already know that Ella and Joe found each other. What happens when they lose each other is where the real learning and bonding takes place. Did Ella ever really love Joe? Did she ever really know Joe? And can she learn to be alright with herself and who she is without him? The story is melded beautifully with some lovely twists and turns. Ella is completely fallible and she recognizes this in herself and strives to change it. So frequently authors make their heroines unaware of their weaknesses and Halverson allows Ella to grow through hers in many ways and cling to them without letting go, as well. She is a fragile heroine, at best, and a conflicted one, at worst. In other words, she is like most of us.

Plot-wise, the story was solid. I appreciated the polished setting and the author’s ability to move me in and out of the small town of Elbow and keep me feeling like I was a true part of this story without Hemingwaying me to sleep. It is a rare occasion that I feel like I am a part of the book, sitting on the edge of the page looking at the characters and silent like a ghost. I was truly there in many instances. When Ella found out about Joe, I reeled with her, though I already knew what was happening. When Paige steps in to take her children back, I fought with Ella, and yet I yearned for Paige to have what she lost. The true test of a story is whether or not it can make you believe even when you know something different. This novel passed the test.

It is a thoughtful read and I enjoyed taking my time with this one, though it is a feasible one sitting novel if you have a rainy day, a cup of tea, and some fresh cookies. I can absolutely see settling down on the couch and devouring this novel in a day and enjoying it greatly. I hope you can, too.

Note: I received this book for free in order to review it. Thank you for allowing me to share my opinions, good or bad.

This year, for younger children, the “in” gift was the leapfrog. The leapfrog is a small mini-computer system that helps kids learn. What? This is the “IN” gift? Something that helps a child learn? Yep. It makes learning fun, it looks like the smartphones, tablets and computers the big kids and adults have and it has fun “games” for little ones. It was SO COOL this year. Parents were scrambling for these things.

I’m lucky enough that my son, AJ, has just turned 11 and I don’t feel the need to hit up the cool kid stuff. Frankly, I never have. I always assumed he’d be happy getting anything and he has always met that expectation. This year, he’s mentioned wanting plenty of things, but over the summer, I added a kindle to his wishlist knowing that he dislikes reading. He’d commented on my kindle, one of the 2nd generation ones I’d bought 3 years ago, and mentioned that he wished he had something cool like that on which to read his books. I mentioned that I’d consider buying him the kindle if he’d ever read books, considering I was begging him to read.

When October hit, it was AR season. In his school, and other public schools around the country, kids have Advanced Reader goals to hit and if they get points they get rewards. AJ was struggling to hit his minimum. He complained to me that, “I’m not like you and Daddy. I hate to read. It’s not fun for me. I don’t get why you guys like it.”

When November rolled around, I’d already decided that I was buying him the kindle mainly because he didn’t have much else on his list. If he didn’t like it, I’d give it to Leon, who’d waffled back and forth about wanting one. I’d gotten some Best Buy rewards and it had dropped my kindle price to around $50. It was a steal at that price and AJ could at least try a couple books on it.

When Christmas morning rolled around, AJ opened it up and seemed excited enough. He couldn’t wait to try out some books on it because it was shiny, it was new, and it was something that mommy had that he wanted and he never got shiny, new, technological TOYS. He seemed a little disappointed that his NeeNee, his Oma and I got him so much money on Amazon gift cards specifically for books for his kindle, but grudgingly decided he’d give it a try.

Since then, he’s read no less than 12, 300+ page books on his kindle with 4 of those being read in the last week. Almost daily he is requesting that I search for new books for him on Amazon and I mentioned to him today that he is almost out of his hefty Christmas and birthday amazon.com card stash for books. He laughed and said, “I can’t help it, Mama, I loooooooove reading. It’s so much fun!”

This kindle, it could be a game changer for kids that don’t like to read. As I write this, AJ is laying on the couch sick as can be, but he’s also calm and relaxed reading his Kindle. He used to tell me he couldn’t read more than an hour a day and now, some days, he reads up to 4 or 5 hours. His main issue with reading is that he is now reading on an 8th or 9th grade level in the 5th grade and most of the books he is reading don’t fall into his AR category so he doesn’t get points for reading them. He reads them anyway. He likes them. He likes to read. He loves to read. I love that he loves to read. Thanks, kindle. Thanks, amazon.

*note: Amazon/Kindle didn’t pay me to write this. They don’t know I’ve written this. This came totally from my heart.

Now you know my big bad secret in that I went into this pre-disposed to like this book. It hasn’t been a secret that in my life my relationship has been through the tumble cycle of the dryer so this book actually came at a great time for me to really get some sound insight. Marriage Rules has solid information for those that are sensing cracks in their relationship, those who are already broken and know it and want to fix things and those that are doing wonderfully but don’t want to hit either of those points.

Perhaps one of the most solid aspects of the book is that, for those of us who are too busy to take off our make-up, Dr. Lerner has made each chapter into small subsections that can easily be read during morning coffee breaks or while you microwave your Weight Watchers meals and listen to Private Practice in the background. Her advice is practical and thoughtful and also has some sound theory behind it. I enjoyed reading the book, especially her personal anecdotes, and have already taken my advanced reader copy up to my office to share with my co-workers.

If you are considering an easy read to help balance things out and are looking for some well-processed and easy to implement suggestions, I highly recommend this book.

Solomon’s Oak introduces us to Glory, a newly widowed woman who is still grieving for her husband and desperately trying to make ends meet. When the local social worker comes calling and asks her to take on a new foster child, something Glory and her late husband had frequently done with open arms, Glory isn’t sure that she has it in her to help Juniper through her adolescent issues. With the help of Joseph, an out-of-towner who has some issues of his own, Glory and Juniper discover that family is often who you make it.

This book has a lot of backstory for each character and that makes it a fascinating read. Almost all of the characters have some sort of dynamic movement throughout the novel, including the minor characters. Sometimes when an author goes that route the book because a busy mish-mash of too many spoons in the soup. However, Solomon’s Oak is written with a perfect, delicate balance that left me bouncing between the characters and while I was on one part of the story I found myself longing to know what another character was doing. Jo-Ann Mapson did a lovely job tying these characters together and really weaving a beautiful picture of what life is like for them.

None of the stories are easy to read. The characters in this book are struggling to deal with issues that are real world issues. However, the empathy that Mapson allows the reader to feel is more than adequate to allow for a bonding between reader and character without making the book overly sappy or the characters overly pitiful or pathetic in their griefs.

I think this is a lovely book that is worth a read. It may not be your favorite of the year, but you won’t forget it. You may find yourself wondering where the characters are heading and if they realize what they’ve gained in the process. It’s a nice journey.

Edit: I received a free copy of this book in order to review it. Thank you for allowing me to share my opinions on it!

Late in November, we’d gotten word that AJ had done something that indicated immaturity on his part as well as bad decision-making. We struggled with how to handle the situation and felt overwhelmed as parents. In my line of work, it can be difficult to admit that you struggle with problems too, but the main thing is that it is always easier to be more objective and to help parse through someone else’s issues than your own. After careful reflection and many discussions, it was decided that AJ needed to spend time focusing on growth and development rather than facing punishments that were already proving ineffective for him such as grounding and taking away privileges. Besides those things, we would need to add some things that he disliked doing, beyond chores, that would encourage him to focus on bettering himself as a person and, hopefully, encourage him to focus on being his best self.

As such, for the last 3 weeks, AJ has not been allowed to watch tv, play video games or play with his friends outside of school. I understand that many would oppose the last one because kids don’t get enough time to play at school and they’ve been sitting in school all day. AJ is absolutely allowed to play by himself in our front or backyard as long as he likes. What we have removed is his opportunity to socialize in the hopes that he might spend that time learning about himself or just learn that silence is ok. He has not spent time on this principle in his entire life. He is allowed 30 minutes of computer time a night for homework or to send emails to family or to decompress. If he is too busy with other things to get it, he just misses it. Period.

Beyond removing those things, AJ has added the following things to his routine: increased amounts of reading time, exercising at the gym with his daddy most every day of the week, eating healthfully almost all of the time and going to bed almost an hour earlier than he was. These were not things AJ had ever embraced and his grades were faltering, he was struggling with his focus and he was not an energetic thoughtful child as he’d been most of his life.

When AJ learned of these changes, as most kids would, we became the bad mom and dad and how could we do this to him? He was angry with us. He was angry with himself.

What has happened 3 weeks later has been a wonderful change. Because of his extra reading time, in the last 3 weeks he has increased his AR goal in reading by 300 percent and has achieved scores of 100% on every test. His teachers are floored by this. When he comes home, he does chores without complaint. He likes to go to the library to get new books because reading is really the only thing he CAN do besides spend time with the dogs. He still complains about the gym and eating, but he’s working harder at both of them and starting to see results. And the going to bed early? He’s doing it on his own. He’ll take his shower and then tell us that he’s just going to go to bed early because he’s tired. Sometimes he’ll do this 30 minutes before his new bedtime.

What I have learned from this is that AJ only thinks he misses these changes. He is a more reflective child and the little things that he used to have all of the time mean more to him when he can have them. He is allowed 30 minutes of video games tonight for his achievement in AR. He didn’t demand it immediately as he would have done a month ago. Instead, he went upstairs to read until the television is free. In fact, he may even forget about it today.

I may leave this new policy open ended. When we decided on it, that was the plan. We were going to see how long it took to see maturity taking place or some sign of reflection or better decision making. I don’t expect too much from my 10-year old. I expect proper development, manners and respect. I love him desperately, but I am raising someone who will be a solid man when it comes time for that and I refuse to coddle him when I know he can do better.

And after 3 weeks, he’s showing progress. Extreme progress. And he’s happier for it. So where do I go from here? I think we are content with how things are. Am I still the bad mom? I don’t honestly know. Am I a good parent? I think so. He’s happy. He’s healthy. And he’s growing both mentally and physically. I can’t ask for more than that.

This is his “Vegetable Project….”

In his defense, I think that’s a carrot holding a gun with a baby corn shooting like a rocket…at least I hope that’s what it is… We’ve already discussed AJ’s issues with art. Bless his heart…he got his art gene from me…

Mr. Blueshelled was not even close to considering lugging the tree, fake or real, up the stairs to the bonus room where his office is to create space for a tree. AJ attempted to talk him into it for days until both Mr. Blueshelled and I were over it. Enough. He gets a tree when he goes to see his NeeNee. We understand that we are ruining his childhood and we are the worst parents in the world. We get that although he has a lovely house and that part of the reason we can’t have a tree is that he has so many places to sit and so many bookshelves filled with knowledge for him to consume, he would rather have a tree with lights that will make Mommy say nasty things when one goes out and a whole section of them looks like they are discouraged with being lights.

We get it.

So, I went to Walgreens the other day. I say this as if going to Walgreens is a rare occasion. What I should say is that I live at Walgreens and I come home sometimes. So, I was at Walgreens and we were checking out when I saw the most beautiful tree. I just had to get it for AJ. When he saw it, he was confused as, because we are awful parents, he’d never seen the cartoon.

I bought him the tree. I brought him home so he could watch the cartoon. And now he thinks he has the best tree ever and his Christmas is no longer ruined.

And I’m a good parent again.

Whew. I was worried for a minute.

Here are your random numbers:

1
Timestamp: 2011-12-16 00:21:05 UTC

Believe by Shelly Hickman is a book about grief and loss and the ability to forgive others for the wrongs they’ve done and the ability to forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. Rachel was a single mother who lost her daughter Sarah to cancer. When Cooper, a former flame, suddenly comes back into her life she is stunned to discover that his son has cancer and that feelings she thought were long gone about Cooper have resurfaced. Rachel begins to experience events that can only be described as supernatural and she begins to wonder if Sarah is still with her. As Rachel explores her feelings about her loss and struggles with remaining aloof with Cooper, events begin to fall together as the story of Rachel and Cooper and, ultimately, Sarah make both Rachel and Cooper look at the people they were and who they have become.

While reading this book, the first thing I realized was that the writing was stilted, but detailed. It was Hemingway-esque (an author I’ve never enjoyed) in that it focused on small details that made up surroundings such as what song was playing on the radio. I’ve always preferred more polished writing, but this is a more creative form of writing and it reminded me of some of the work that we wrote in my undergraduate creative writing class. This is not to say Hickman’s writing isn’t good. What it says is that the writing style is not my preferred style. I do not need the entire picture drawn for me, which is why I hate Hemingway. I dislike being endlessly deluged by the small details of what a knob of a door looks like or what the fuzz on a sweater looks like. However, there are plenty of readers that flock to this kind of writing. Just not me. And that’s ok. The book is dialogue heavy and I felt like it was written more for a play than for a book. It was very statement/fact oriented and I felt like the characters spent the novel proclaiming things rather than having any sense of self-awareness or dynamic changing. Overall, I would have liked to have seen a more impactful use of dialogue and a better use of the supporting work to help the dialogue form the story.

However, the book excels in a lot of ways. This book isn’t for me because I’m not someone who is in the midst of losing someone or who has recently lost someone. This book is catered for that person. The raw dialogue and the realistic and verbose use of terms to describe the cancer-related medical supplies and course of treatment would likely make someone who had recently lost someone to a disease, especially cancer, feel supported and understood. For the rest of us, there just isn’t enough insight to help us get to the point of understanding or caring about these characters beyond a stranger empathy we would experience when reading the story in a newspaper.

In many ways, I noticed that this book seems like a walk-through of the different stages of cancer for someone whose child is going through it as well as a noticeable journey into the lapse of faith a Christian parent might have when facing a child who has a terminal illness. The realistic thoughts and comments of Rachel are appealing in this way. One thing I like about creative writing was the ability to open people up to new things. For all the ways that someone has just hit the end of their rope terminal illness, trips to the hospital, pain and hurt and needs someone to speak for them, Rachel may just be that person.

In other words, the book may be a balm for people who are struggling through dealing with a loved one with cancer or have lost a loved one to cancer. The rest of us might just not get it and wonder why things are the way they are. This book is for the former.

The book loses chances to explain things more to readers as well as to offer Rachel and Cooper a chance to give us more insight into them at the end of the novel. Things seem very cut and dry in a very complicated situation and it may be the only part of the book that felt unrealistic to me. Overall, not a bad book, but not one for someone who is looking for a light read or who has never been through this kind of struggle.

1 lucky blog reader will receive an audiobook version of Tempest by Julie Cross thanks to MacMillion Audio.

It can be yours if you win.

Here’s how to enter:

1) Leave a comment before December 15, 2011 at 5pm CST telling me one thing you love about this time of year. (1 entry)

2) You can tweet this giveaway and/or link it on facebook and/or link to it on your own blog for extra chances to win! You can do this as often as you like, but it only counts once. (1 entry each, but you must link them here SEPARATELY or they will not COUNT separately as I will be using a number randomizer to choose the winner–please do not spam your friends to win the contest as most sites frown on that)

3) You can put a blueshelled.com blog button (seen in the sidebar-along with code to add it to your blog or website) on your blog or website, or if you already have one, you qualify, for 3 extra entries. I will verify this before your entries will count. Let me know it’s there and where I can find it. It’s pretty!

Things to know:
**Comments posted after the deadline won’t be included in the drawing.
**You must have a valid way of contacting you in your entry (which means you must leave your email address on the entry so I can send you a notice saying “YOU WON!”)
**If your email address bounces back to me, I will leave a post on my blog for 5 days and you will have the option to contact me for your prize. If you do not, I will re-draw for the prize. I am not responsible for anything that happens once this stuff leaves my hands. If it gets lost, doesn’t work, etc., I’ll feel really bad, but I can’t replace it.
**I will be using a randomizer to choose the winner of the giveaway. As long as your entries fit the criteria, you are eligible.

Ouch.

About that time, I received an email from the people at Grammarly.com who have a fantastic Grammar Checker that can be used for free for 7 days. I got to try out a paid membership au gratis (for freebies) on them from now until the end of 2012. As I am looking to make sure my document is grammatically correct (they frown on poor spelling and grammar when they read dissertations) and that I have been doubly sure that nothing I’ve said could be considered plagiarism, which it won’t because I’m too self-absorbed to use someone else’s words but it’ll check it anyway, Grammar Check is going to be a great fit for what I’m doing in my career right now. What I find most interesting about all of this is that I could have said this at any point in the last 14 years of my college education.

Full discloser: I’m not a shiller. No one pays me for my opinion. Not even my sponsor. Everything said here is my own thoughts. I ran a 30 page lit review through grammar check and it nuked me. However, my dissertation is sparkling at this point. I get free use of the grammar check (which anyone can use for free for 7 days along with their neat little set of English Grammar Rules, I just get the paid version for a year) and, they are going to offer a $30 donation in the name of my blog to one of the organizations they support, Wideawake.org.

Now, onto my thoughts. I’ve already told you that it nuked and then zestfully cleaned my dissertation. What I liked most about what it did was that it went beyond the basic Microsoft Office spelling and grammar check. I don’t know when the last time I’ve had to define a gerund was, but when I’d misused one, the program would define it for me and then would show me how I’d misused it so I would not only fix the mistake, I would LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE. I can really see this as a stellar learning tool from ages 10-??? because we all need better grammar skills. I would highly recommend it for those just learning grammar skills, those studying their writing skills for big tests such as the SAT/ACT, those just entering undergraduate studies, those getting ready to take their post graduate exams…really, there is never a bad time for it. Obviously, I’m excited about it. Which is a bit silly because it’s a grammar program, but I’m also the same girl that gets really excited to go to Staples because it’s OFFICE SUPPLIES!!! Don’t judge me. My friend April does, too.

I also like that I can place it under different headings for the type of paper I’m writing. Obviously, my dissertation was under “academic.” This one was under creative. “Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.” Generates this:

I’m not sure how well you can read this, being that my main panel is so small on here, but it says that there is a citation audit because…well, because Mary had a little lamb is all over the internet! Clearly, I plagiarized that puppy and if I don’t cite it, my teacher is going to fail me for it! Seriously, I love this program. If you have kids, if you are a kid, if you are in school, have friends in school, if your parents in are school, direct them to this free 7-day trial period. And if they like it, have them get the paid version for all the awesome bells and whistles.

Tempest, by Julie Cross, appeals to me in much the same fashion. It combines elements of a love story with a twist of Dr. Who time travel for good measure. In other words, it’s milkshakes brings us geeks to the yard and it could teach us, but it’d have to charge…I know. I know. Tempest brings us straight to 19-year old Jackson’s summer job and his relationship with his girlfriend, Holly and his friend, Adam. Within the first few pages, Holly is shot, Jackson is watching her die as he suddenly…jumps back through time? With his genius computer tech friend Adam helping him out, Jackson continues jumping through time to try to save Holly, save himself and Adam and figure out who the people around him really are, including his father. The book is never boring and I never quite could get two steps ahead of the author, Julie Cross, in her writing. I always thought I knew where she was headed, but the ending surprised me, but felt right. I’m excited to see where this trilogy leads. I am so, so glad that it didn’t end with this book.

I read this novel in about 2 evenings. I rarely do that and what it should tell you is that the book is exciting and spellbinding. I didn’t want to put it down. It caused me two cranky early mornings, to be sure. The author cites Stephanie Meyer, of Twilight author-hood, as an inspiration, and while I can see comparing the two because they are both in the young adult genre (hence my introduction), the writing styles are only similar in that they both easily held my interest and had a nicely flowing cadence. Julie Cross has figured out her hero and his voice is clear in this novel. I warn you, if you pick up this novel, you will be on your tippy toes waiting for the next one. Go for it, though! It’s well worth it. This was a great read and I am truly looking forward to Part 2!

Edit: I received this book for free in order to review it. Thank you for allowing me to share my opinions on it!

Click here to listen to a clip from the audiobook version of Tempest! For those of you that like listening to books this is right up your alley. Tempest_webclip