As the child grows…

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 11, 2009 . 10:49AM

When AJ was little, he had mad empathy. When other babies would cry, he would wail like crazy. This has never left him and I’m inclined to believe it’s part of his temperament. He’s always been the caretaker in this house, and I think it’s because he sees that when one of us is sick, we all take care of that person. It is how we handle sickness or sadness or stress. Since he was very tiny, he would play the nursemaid when Leon or I was sick. I still remember him fetching me lukewarm water in the bathroom cup when I was nursing a migraine because he’d seen Leon bring me water for my aspirin. I believe he was as young as 3 when he started.

When Leon or I am sick, he hates to go to school and when he is here, he will bring ice packs, aspirin, wet washcloths and as many hugs, kisses and cuddles as we will take. There are many nights that he went to bed on a Friday night at 7:30 because I was sick with a migraine and laying there. He would lay next to me, patting my hand, and would eventually drift off.

There is a certain sense of guilt that comes with having chronic pain–that burden that you place on the people around you. The feelings that you may have of feeling like less of a person some days often express themselves at the weakest moments and not always in the best of ways. They often present in anger, misery or irritability. AJ is immune to that when someone is sick.

This isn’t to say that he doesn’t have his egocentric “me me me” side, because he certainly does, but it has never been as strong as I expected. And I’m watching him shed it rapidly and sooner than the developmental scales predict and I wonder about the kind of man he’ll become, and how quickly it will happen. Will I ever be ready for it? People keep telling me to have more children. My guess is that they recognize that there is so much love within me for this little guy that it breaks me.

I worry less about it when I see that I haven’t done an awful job and that my health issues haven’t affected him so dramatically. As he was going to bed tonight, he kissed my cheek, hugged me tightly and said, “I hope you feel better tomorrow, mama.” Then, he gave me the dimpled grin that melts my heart and he and his hoppy little weiner dog went to sleep.

Somehow, I think we’re all going to be alright…

That’s my boy

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . November 5, 2009 . 10:11AM

Please welcome my guest blogger, LEON!
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Until recently, I have never really been a Beatles fan. I always associated The Beatles with the bee bop music they did in the late 50s, and I disliked it. Then recently we got Rock Band: The Beatles and that all changed. I realized that I knew dozens of good songs from the 60s (mostly from movies and the like) that were Beatles songs and I just never knew it.

As a consequence of my not being a fan of the Beatles, and my wife not listening to them very much, AJ was also never really exposed to The Beatles until Rock Band came along. Instantly, he was hooked. He bee bopped along with the music and shook his groove thang all night long while we played. Eventually, he asked something he’s never asked about a band before: “Dad, can we go see the Beatles play?” The following conversation then ensued:

Me: “No, buddy, they’re not making music anymore.”
AJ: “Why not?”
Me: “Well, two of them are dead now, but before that, they broke up.”
AJ: “How did they die?”
Me: (Not exactly remembering at that moment how George Harrison died) “Well, one of them got shot.”
AJ: (in horror) “WHY WOULD SOMEONE SHOOT ONE OF BEATLES?! THEY’RE SO NICE!!”
Me: :blank stare: “Honestly, I have no idea.”

I will tell you that since that conversation, I have had to learn about the history of The Beatles, because there has been a neverending blitz of questions from AJ about The Beatles: which ones are alive, which ones are dead, how they died, whether the ones who are still alive are still singing, and most importantly whehter we will ever get to meet any of The Beatles. I’ve had to repeat most of this information four or five times; AJ wanted to learn it well enough so that he could tell other people all about The Beatles as well, and I have caught him more than once telling other people “did you know” facts about the Beatles.

Now here is how I know AJ will have good musical taste for the rest of his life: on Saturday, we went out trick-or-treating on a street here in town where all the houses were decked out in Halloween garb. One of them had a KISS cover band, complete with costumes and make-up. We stopped to watch them for a couple minutes, then proceeded down the street. As we were walking away, AJ turned to me in disgust and said, “Why do people dress up like KISS?? They’re not popular.” Then he shrugged and said dismissively, “They’re dead anyway.” I informed him that they were not dead, and he shrugged again and walked off. I haven’t heard a question about KISS since.

That’s my boy.

He’s a happy boy

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . September 26, 2009 . 8:00PM

Tonight, we were walking out of Target after a 3 day bender. For me, a 3 day bender means a 3 day migraine. I’d gone to the walk-in clinic last night and a magic Dr. gave me magic shots that make me sleep and make the bad migraine take a break. Or, not necessarily go away, but I feel them less, which is what happened in this case. I’d slept most of today and the edge was off of my migraine.

It was time to get out of the house and try to regain sanity after being sick most all of the week.

A.J. had scrounged up some pocket change. I have no idea where he found it, but my guess is that he raided couches and bathrooms and tables. He had almost $5. In little boy world, this is a fortune and can be spent on things that will drive your parents absolutely nuts.

He’d scored some Halloween window clings from the $1 bin and some matchbox cars. Of course, they had to be done in separate trips to a very patient cashier who counted out his change with him. She deserves an award.

As we walked out to the car, in the pouring rain, without umbrellas or coats (we laugh in the face of pneumonia), I heard him softly singing next to me: “I ammmm a happy boy, a happy boooooy, a happy BOY! I ammmm a happy boy, a happy booooy, a hap-eeee-BOY!”

I guess we’re doing something right.

AJ’s leftovers

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . June 4, 2009 . 11:31AM

May 8, 2009
Trip time in the car

AJ: “Mom, can we get some shade over here? I’m really hot?”
Me: “How would you like me to do that?”
AJ: “I don’t know, but I’m really hot.”
Me: “I tell you what, I can turn up the air, but that’s all I can do. I’m sorry I can’t turn off the sun for you.”

May 15, 2009

Last night, I’d broken down and had Leon get us some cookies to satisfy a minor craving I’d been having. We’d had them less than 24 hours and had hidden them from AJ because the only thing he likes more than cookies and cake is ice cream.

He went in the kitchen to find a spoon and lo and behold:

Messenger conversation:3:45pm
Me: He has already found the cookies. Amazing.
Leon: What? What was he looking for?
Me: A spoon. Even though they were right in front of his face. I’m telling you–he has cookie sixth sense.

May 16, 2009

We’d gotten up early for a Little League game that had, at the last minute, been canceled due to rain, but could possibly be rescheduled for later in the day. AJ was trying to decide which of the dogs I would bring to the game with me, as is normal for us.

Me: “I don’t know that I will bring any dog to the game. You don’t get to decide if I bring one because you don’t have to keep an eye on them during the game.”

AJ: (eyeing me closely and shrewdly) “You can always go back to bed.”

Was he implying I was cranky?

Interview with an 8-year old: Part two

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . June 3, 2009 . 2:26PM

Since my last interview with AJ went so well, I decided that maybe this should be a running feature. I’ve kept my eye out for something that might pertain to him, as he does better with structured questions and I was looking forward to hearing his answers in response to some hilarious questions. I was reading one of the blogs that I frequent, Funny jokes, pictures, stories, etc., and this old forward came up. When I read it, I realized that I could get some answers from AJ that might be worth a giggle. Read what they had to say, and then come back and read AJ’s response. Anything in parentheses is my response to his answer.

1. People in glass houses should not…….throw balls. (Can you tell we have a rule here?)
2. Better to be safe than……..unsafe. (Um…..)
3. Strike while the……batter’s not looking. (He does love baseball.)
4. It’s always darkest before……midnight.
5. Never underestimate the power of ……coca-cola. (Someone has been watching too much television.)
6. You can lead a horse to water but…….. not to food. (huh?)
7. Don’t bite the hand that ……. what hand?
8. No news is …….. un-news! (We don’t quite have opposites down, do we?)
9. A miss is as good as a …… clean room. (Miss, mess, whatever.)
10. You can’t teach an old dog….. to run. (Well…)
11. If you lie down with dogs, you…… hurt them. (Again, we have rules.)
12. Love all, trust…..your mom. (A-men. Preach it.)
13. Where there is smoke, there is…….fire. (Heh.)
14. Happy is the bride who….got married. (He’s creative, this one.)
15. A penny saved, is…..put in a piggy bank. (Fair enough.)
16. Two is company, three is …….what? I don’t get it at all. (This was met with 3 minutes of consternation.)
17. Children should be seen and not…… distracted. (??????)
18. If at first you don’t succeed……you fail. (…. ….. …. I guess he’s a realist…)