Confessional Friday: I hate talking on the phone

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . August 14, 2009 . 11:02AM

It’s time for another confessional Friday.

I’m an introvert by nature. People that know me tend to forget that when they first met me, I likely didn’t say much at all to them. When I am in large gatherings of people, I tend to talk only to the 2-3 people sitting next to me, unless I know all of them well. I generally speak when spoken to if I don’t know the people sitting next to me.

Recently, I was at a huge gathering of people that are friends with Leon (and some I will reluctantly claim–you know who you are). I was sitting between a publisher that I’d never met and Leon, who was talking to a friend of his on the other side. I’d also never met several of the people at our table. I quietly munched on some bread when the publisher looked directly at me and said, “this side of the table is awfully quiet.”

I tried to swallow the bread, which promptly got stuck in my throat, and mumbled something about it definitely being less lively than other parts of our rather long table. At which point I did something I never do: I went into counselor mode and started using my interviewing skills to ask him questions, because, frankly, I had no idea what to say.

I didn’t probe his mind or do anything unethical. I simply asked him some “getting to know you questions,” but I was quite uncomfortable for the first 20 minutes or so. About the time I began to grow comfortable with his company, he left to do some other tasks for the get-together we were attending.

Such is my life.

What does this have to do with talking on the phone?

Without those visual social cues, I often have difficulty judging where the other person is heading with a conversation. I like non-verbal language. I can tell a lot about a person from that non-verbal language. I think my clients appreciate that about me because I can often learn just as much from their non-verbal language as I do from their verbal language.

When I’m on the phone, I lose that ability. I dislike it. I have to keenly focus on pitch and tone and “trying to keep up the conversation,” which, for an introvert, is exhausting.

Bottom line: Unless I know someone well or we have lots to talk about or you are ok holding the majority of the conversation, text or email is best.

I hate talking on the phone.

Friday Confessional: Mini-confessionals

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . August 4, 2009 . 10:38AM

Last week, I did mini-confessionals, and it seemed to go over well. I’ve got a whole moleskine page in my planner filled with blog ideas, so I think I’ll do one more of these to clear it up a bit so I can have some of my planner back. Also, I’m getting ready to go to Chicago for Labor Day weekend, and time is short. I’m ok with being lazy.

So, without further ado, my confessions:

I’m co-dependent on my family. When any of us goes out of town or to visit family, the rest of us are mopey the entire time. Leon travels a lot for this job, which means that AJ and I spend a bit of time being moody. Believe it or not, the pets get that way, too. The only being in the house that isn’t moody or mopey is the cat. Go figure.

I’m territorial. If I could pee on my blog to mark it as mine, I would. The only time I’m not territorial is with my clients. I do what’s best for them. Otherwise, if it’s mine, it’s mine.

I hate shoes, especially dress shoes. If I’m at home, I rarely wear them. I prefer sneakers and flip flops to any other kind of shoes and I’ve chosen two professions within my field in which I can wear sneakers every day. I’ve got it covered.

When I tell my son he’s the coolest boy in the world, I truly mean it. No one else makes me laugh the way he does.

I went to a fortune teller once. She told me I’d have 3 children and live to 83. I don’t believe either, but I’m ok with both.

I hate dressing up. I recently went to a wedding where someone I saw at least twice a week for 3 years at church services said “this is the first time I’ve seen you in a dress.” I do believe she was telling the truth.

I’m only buying shirts in jewel tones from here on out. I was told this week that yellow makes me look “fresh” and other jewel toned shades make me look good. TWICE in ONE WEEK. Jewel tones. That’s it.

Before I started my practicum, I honestly worried that I couldn’t be around other people’s children all day and be happy. After one full day of observing them, I adore them like crazy. I even have my own mini-stalker. She’s precious and asked when I’d be back to observe her classroom again. PRECIOUS.

Other people’s kids, once you’ve grown attached to them, don’t stop being “your kids.” I discovered this at last Friday’s scrimmage game where AJ’s team played other teams against his old teammates. When I would yell for them and encourage them, the other parents from our team would look at me like I’d just farted on them and walked away. Whatever. Those are still “my kids.” Screw you.

Whew. That’s enough. My soul is bare for today.

Now, share some of yours with me!

All the things that I can’t say in this blog

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . July 3, 2009 . 11:04AM

I’ll bet that when you read that title you thought you were going to get a bonus blog entry of filth, or dirty words or something nasty. Or maybe even something controversial. Or a CONFESSION of some sort. Or drama. That was my hook and I drew you in like a fish, didn’t I? WHEW HOO, I caught me a big one today, folks! But, hey, now that you are here, hang out, will ya? I have stuff to say and I like it when we can chat for a minute.

I’ve said it before, there are times that little things happen in my day that are funny, or poignant or just strike me as something I want to share with you, but the information isn’t enough to make a full blog entry. These bits and pieces get combined into “A.J.’s Leftover” posts or “Random Thoughts” posts, but don’t be fooled! They are all things that make me think of one person: you.

So, here are some things that brought you to mind recently. Take that however you need to after reading them.

May 8, 2009
Never trust two 8 year olds who have shut themselves in a closet. They are making plans that are in no way beneficial to your well-being or that of humankind.

May 13, 2009
It drives me nuts when people that get honorary doctorates (usually celebrities) think they have any right to claim the title of “Dr.” As someone who is working to earn a Ph.D. I’m offended by this in so many ways. Mainly because I’m working for mine and paying for it as well.

June 11, 2009
Leon: A.J. called me six times this morning when I was in a meeting to ask if his game had been cancelled. (A.J. takes his baseball seriously)

June 17, 2009
You know it’s going to be a bad day when you wake up and whisper hello to your dog and she glares at you because your breathe is just that bad.

June 26, 2009
AJ: If I were a lightning bug, i would just fly wherever I wanted to go ahead and get my death over with. ((My note: What the heck?))

July 1, 2009
Me: “A.J., when you get older and become rich and famous, are you going to buy me a house?”
A.J.: (skeptical) “NO. I’ll buy you a couch. Or a bed with 14 cup holders.”
Me: (bewildered)

OH! And I’d been promising that I was going to show you the picture of me wearing my own Linda Lee necklace that I purchased in May to wear to a June wedding. Here it is. Sorry about the bewildered face and pulled back hair. We were in Arkansas and it was roughly 4000 degrees and I was in the middle of explaining how to use the camera when someone I don’t know took the picture. It’s a keeper! I got no less than 10 compliments on this necklace and all of them wanted to know where I got my stuff. I told you she was in high demand.

P.S. Don’t forget to enter my giveaway by 5pm CST today! Last chance!