Friday Confessional: Public Bathrooms

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . October 16, 2009 . 11:20AM

Alright, I have many neurosis, but I hate public restrooms. Most of you do, too, but not to the extent that I do. It’s not that I “can’t go” or anything like that.

I’m shy. That’s right. I’m shy.

I listen when you pee and I know you listen, too. Don’t pretend you don’t. It happens. There was one time an elderly woman was in the stall next to me making such serious fireworks that I snorted while I laughed. I couldn’t help it.

I’m immature, but it was hilarious.

So, when you sit in the stall next to me, I freeze up.

And here’s what I do.

I count to 13. Slowly.

I have no idea why it works, but it does. If I can count to 13, I can pee. It’s not the most compelling confession, but there you have it.

Friday Confessional: I don’t know how to let him go

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . October 2, 2009 . 9:19AM

I don’t know how to let him go. He’s not a baby anymore and it’s becoming more and more apparent that he’s growing up.

I remember the terror I felt the first time I realized that he no longer had the baby scent.

And then the first time he smelled. I mean really smelled. As in “go take a shower you smell.”

And the first time he actually met my mouth instead of my chin or my nose when he gave me a kiss.

And all the small things that I find myself now terrified of losing: his hand when he crosses the street, the goodnight kisses, when he falls asleep in our bed–his little hand searching for my shoulder and the sweet smiles in his sleep when I say his name and tell him I love him, the first time he’s embarrassed when I tell him I love him in front of his friends, or the first time he doesn’t rush to greet me when he comes home from school.

Every stage of his life has been my favorite. He’s my favorite. He’s always been my favorite. No one makes me laugh as hard as him. He has my sense of humor. Of course I’m going to think he’s hilarious. He’s thoughtful and serious and sensitive and laughs at fart jokes because they are hysterical. They are. I don’t care what you think. THEY ARE HYSTERICAL. Prudes.

I don’t know how to let him go. But I will because I love him with quiet desperation and care. And the day will come when he has to let me go, too. Loving someone means that you will eventually feel the loss that comes with letting go. And I’m scared to death.

Friday confessional: People that sleep with their eyes open freak me out

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . September 25, 2009 . 10:34AM

It’s true. People that sleep with their eyes open freak me right the flip out in a major way. There are 2 people in my house that sleep with their eyes open, at times, and one dog. What this does is convinces me, almost daily, that they have died in their sleep and I must shake them.

The progression goes something like this:

I notice the person is sleeping with their eyes open.

I watch for a while to make sure there is REM (rapid eye movement), where the eyes move back and forth slowly to indicate that the person has entered deep sleep.

I make faces at the person to see if they are really sleeping or trying to freak me out.

I laugh because they don’t know I’m making faces.

They may not breathe for a second.

Their eyes stop.

Oh no!

Wait.

Are they alive?

I shake them hard.

They snort, roll over, and have no idea I just woke them up from REM sleep.

I sigh happily that I can no longer see creepy open-eyed sleeping.

It freaks. me. out.