New hair color and cut = great day

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . October 21, 2009 . 11:05AM

Some days are just fantastic. It’d been a long time since I’d had one that put me at one with the all good and I was in need of something stellar to change the funky mood I’d been in for the last several days. Over the weekend, I went to a training that had me look inward and clean out some of the mental gunk I’d accumulated. As this felt like 9 hours of therapy for 3 days straight, I wasn’t exactly feeling up to being happy or sociable. My esteem was in the crapper and I felt down.

However, Tuesday rolled around and it was time for some change. I’d scheduled a cut, color and highlights with my friend Chris, who is an awesome stylist. He’s been taking care of me for almost 2 1/2 years and, beyond being good at what he does, we have a good time when we are together. He’s one of those people that I feel like I can be myself with in that he’s going to get my jokes and he might even laugh at them. We’ll sit and talk for 3 hours with no awkwardness and I’ll leave feeling like I’m caught up on his life and, hopefully, he’s caught up on mine. It’s a good relationship and there are precious few of those around lately.

I got to hear about old women and dirty Subway jokes, political jokes that we have to whisper, just in case the other patrons might hear and I can tell him that my theme for this haircut is “Hot. Just make me look hot. I don’t care what you do to it” and know that it’s going to happen. And it did. And he’s awesome. At one point, his co-worker, who’d kept himself in the majority of our conversation, had commented that he liked to laugh, too, because we were both laughing so hard that Chris had to stop working.

Rare friendships. I love those.

Well, what do you think? It’s got some red in it, as well as some blonde. Oh, and there is a Chris in the picture, too. I’m not getting rid of anyone that says “You already are” when I tell him to make me pretty. Nope. He’s a keeper. I’m not telling you anything else that was said. We share an odd sense of humor.

Besides spending time with one of my favorite people, as well as the best stylist in the area, I got to see one of my besties, Kristin. I rarely go to her neck of the woods, as it’s almost an hour away and there is more to do in my area. However, it’s where Chris is and my hair isn’t going to take care of itself, though wouldn’t that be awesome? “Hair, color yourself!”

Anyway, I happened to choose the day that Kristin only works until 3, which was awesome because I was done around 3:30. I hugged Chris goodbye and set off to the mall. Leon and AJ, who’d both taken a couple of days off for fall break, decided to meet us there after Leon hurt himself playing golf. I’m not going to say a word about golf. Nope. Not a word. It was a somewhat last minute decision that Leon and AJ would come to do some mall-wandering and ended with all of us going to Olive Garden.

I love Olive Garden.

I want to marry Olive Garden and have little olive-ettes.

Then, on the drive home, which was blissfully quiet except for some *whispering* country */whispering* music, I was treated to a sunset that literally brought me to tears. One of the reasons I love Nashville so much is the scenery. There is something so beautiful about the rolling hills and the trees and the natural rocks. When I turn a corner, I’m treated to something new and amazing with every breath. Sorry for the junky windshield pictures. I’m too lazy to clean it and too mystified by the beauty of it to not share it with you.

As I pulled into Franklin, I swore I heard bells. The closer I got to Five Points (an area of historic downtown), the louder they pealed. As I checked for signs of neurological disorder, I realized that I was driving closer to one of the beautiful historic churches in the area. Someone was ringing the bells and it was glorious. The bells and the sunset and the sky and day I’d had…it was all too much.

What a wonderful day. Can I please have more of these?

Get over it, it’s all in the past: Relationship changes and how we adapt

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . May 13, 2009 . 10:17PM

As adults, we want to believe that we are able to move beyond the things that happened in our past and we very much choose to believe that we are able to forget the people that we have tied ourselves to during that time. We let go of them and “get on with our lives” and heal as much as we can. Something I’m discovering, in my own time of self-awareness and discovery, is that we never really let go of those people completely.

Our feelings do change for people and I’m not questioning that notion. However, I think most people I know would agree that the feelings they have for their first love are very different than the feelings they have for that night in college where the pizza guy looked really good or the girl in the short skirt in the corner appealed to you in a way that you didn’t think was possible. Don’t for a second think you didn’t give those people an emotional piece of yourself, because you did, no matter how small, because you still remember them. And, yet, you may not look upon that period with any kind of empathy, compassion, or wistfulness for them or yourself at that time.

These are not the instances that I’m addressing. I’m addressing the first loves, the best friends, the close friends, the soul mates, the people that you meet on the street that do a kindness for you. These are the people that allow you to have a piece of their heart and with that you, in turn, share a piece of yours with them like a puzzle only the two of you have any hope of completing.

When we give this part of ourselves away, we do so at a large cost. There really isn’t any going back from that point. I remember my first love quite fondly, as he was a good friend before he was anything else to me. He was sweet, funny and shy. We talk online now and then, but what strikes me so much is that it has been so long and our feelings have healed to the point where I genuinely want his happiness in a way that I wish for what he wishes for himself. I think of old friends that I haven’t seen in years and wish the best for them.

I think this is where the popularity of social networking sites such as Facebook and Myspace come in. Of course there are people that want to “stick it” to the people that hurt them so long ago, but, overwhelmingly, the feeling I get about these sites is that it is more about healing and caring than anything else. We want to know how these people are doing and if they are well. Our reason for that is not always because of them: It’s because of us. It’s because they hold onto a string attached to our emotions that we haven’t quite clipped.

I can think back to my first real crush and smile fondly. I can think of my first best friend and laugh at some of the things we’ve done in our lives. I can think of the first time someone hurt me beyond repair. There are many spots that aren’t healed and there are many that will never heal. It’s up to me to decide whether I’m going to allow those strings to continue to move me like a puppeteer or clip them and free the strings up for new events in our lives.

The man who held the door for me the other day…the old woman who smiled at me when I was stressed out about finals…the way my dogs know when I’m sad and will just lay silently next to me…the way my sister hugs me when she hasn’t seen me in a while…

A smile for you

by Jillian @ http://blueshelled.com . May 6, 2009 . 12:14AM

Sometimes just the recognition of humanity in others reminds us of our own humanity. This brought a smile to my heart and I wanted to share it with you in the hopes that it might lift you as well. Have a wonderful day.

If you can’t see the video, please click here.