Do any of you remember Ally McBeal? Ally was a 20-something lawyer who had a vivid imagination and quite a few eccentricities and quirks. Her character made me feel better about myself. Her male counterpart, J.D. on Scrubs, also had the fantasies he would visit when he was uncomfortable or needed a break from reality for a bit. It’s a great coping mechanism and a sign of adaptability.

Or, at least that’s what I choose to tell myself.

When I’m on the treadmill, I dance in my head. In a club. With some of you. And we shake that thing. Every now and then, I get so into it, I forget where I am. It happened to me tonight at the gym for a brief second. You were shaking your thing and for a half second, I shook mine while I power-walked on that treadmill.

And the man on the elliptical behind me laughed.

What I want to know is how many times I’m doing this that I don’t catch? And what was he doing watching my thing? Pervert.

And I hate being cold.

I will go to extremes to avoid being cold. This involves having 4 dogs to puppy pile on the couch in the winter. This involves layering myself with four layers of clothing in 50 degree weather. It involves secretly coveting a snuggie but not telling anyone. It involves always wearing socks. It involves bringing a jacket to school even in the summer.

I hate being cold.

If I’m cold and you are warm, I will put my cold hands on you. It doesn’t matter if this is outside your boundaries. Sorry about that. Just be glad you don’t sleep in my bed. Cold feet will find a place even if it’s the only warm place on your body to be warmed. I am shameless.

I hate being cold.

This translates into the fact that I’m an awesome cuddler and if you are a warm person, I’m going to like you. I’m going to like you a lot. Especially in the winter.

I may also stick my nose in your ear and call it a “nose slipper.” I know it’s gross. Sorry.

I hate being cold.